I'm off on my Christmas holiday on Thursday but

....will that stop me working? I doubt it. As a member of the Life-long association of Self-confessed Workaholics I look for opportunities everywhere.
Simple...just ask questions, be genuineley interested and you may spot an opportunity to help people if they have an issue.
The issues I am looking for are people who say "We want more business or new clients."
When they say that I can help

How much "enthousiasmos" do you have when

you meet people and explain what you do? Do you have a feeling of excitement, show some exuberance and a lively interest in others.exuberance: overflowing with eager enjoyment or a lively interest?
Enthousiasmos is the original word for enthusiasm which originally meant inspiration or possession by a divine afflatus or by the presence of a God.
When we act enthusiastically we become enthusiastic and it becomes contagious.
I love what I do, showing people how to become more confident and effective networkers. i make people laugh when I tell them every day is my birthday and that I never work.
Back to the past. Confusious says, "Give someone a job they and they'll never have to wortk a day in their life" rings true for me.
What about you?
We can show you how to answer that question, "What do you do?" in an enthusatic and clear manner. Why not enrol on one of our nationwide (UK) seminars. If you are a reader of this blog entry do ask for a massive 30% discount off the posted price

"Go to the funeral ...and get business!"

At our networking club today Graham turned to me and said "Will Kintish, you're right, there's business everywhere. I went to a funeral and noticed metal letters (initials of the deceased) were screwed into the side of the coffin.I asked the undertaker - after the funeral(!)-where he had got them from and the reply was that he had had real problems finding them. I explained my company does that and we agreed to meet later next week."
Was that inapproriate? Wrong time, wrong place?
No, I don't think so great networkers do it anywhere. Graham spotted a potential opportunity and took it. he simply asked a question and when the reply came that this man had a problem ther was Graham to help. Not sell, not be pushy, no pestering, just offering some help.
When you look to offer your area of expertise to add value to others, rather than try to sell services or products with the focus on only yourself ...you won't succeed.
Become a MARTINI networker
Any time, any place anywhere!

The actions of rude ignorant hosts.

Why do people behave differently in a business setting from their social setting? i find it very strange.
I was invited to an business event recently by ( careful Will don't give too many clues) a professional services firm. Their boss man walked up to me gave me a perfunctory 'Hello Will' half shook my hand didn't eye contact me ...then immediatley moved off. His business partner did smile and in the same sentence said 'Hi Will(looked over my shoulder); sorry just seen XXX, excuse me I'll see you later'.
Dumped me, rejected me the ignorant host.
I feel just 100% sure if these men ( and they are usually men...women don't behave like that) had invited me into their home they would have treated me rather differently.
HOSTING AT WORK AND AT HOME IS EXACTLY THE SAME. LOOK AFTER YOUR GUESTS...PROPERLY.
We run seminars on 'How to host successful and profitable corporate events'
perhap these people need to attend.

I've just returned from my favourite monthly meeting....

...the North West Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Everyone involved with the speaking or training community are generous people with a giving spirit. It's lonley for us all and so there is a natural want and need to help other'lonely people'.
If you are a presenter who wants the best network support call me (0161 773 3727) so you can be my guest at the next meeting on Tuesday 5th February 2008 at the SAS Radisson Hotel T2 at Manchester Airport

You learn most....when you teach!

Kintish is looking for franchisees and when they join we have to show them how to present and introduce them to the content of our training and presentations. As I am helping them I am learning lots and lots. Not just how to do it but how I have been doing it and shouldn't.
As part of your career development and personal marketing look for opportunities to present , coach or mentor others. YOU wil learn so much about your are of expertise

A big lesson from Chris

I receive a newsletter from my coaching friend Chris weekly. Below is a section from this week's headed 'Personal Relections.'

WHAT A GREAT SERIES OF LESSONS. HERE IT IS

I don't mind admitting that I experienced one of those "wake-up call" moments a few days ago.

Back in August I spent a delightful day with a potential new client, meeting his team, touring his beautiful practice, lunching with his wife and even meeting his family at home - a complete day of immersion in his business and his life.

Subsequent to that meeting he agreed to utilise what is now branded as our Breathe Bespoke service - personal in-house coaching from Chris in 2008 - and an investment on his part of over £12,000 in the service and in the future of his own business.

My support team contacted him and all the dates were scheduled in next year's diary.

Imagine, therefore, my surprise when I read a short email from him a couple of weeks ago, simply requesting that the service be cancelled and the dates removed.

That just doesn't happen to me - so I was intrigued to know what had "gone wrong".

I replied to the email personally, confirming the cancellation and asked is it would be possible to arrange a short phone call to explore the reasons behind his decision, simply to improve my systems and standards going forward.

This is a really nice guy - evidenced by his immediate response, agreeing to speak with me.

My day of workshop presentation followed, with my mind constantly drifting back to the call arranged later that day and me fantasising about all the possible explanations for his change of heart.

As I drove between "gigs" that evening, the call took place - and here is what he said:

"Chris - we had a fantastic day with you in August - a really good diagnosis and treatment plan for our business going forward and plenty of breakthrough strategies BUT:

1. You promised to send me some follow up work after the meeting - I knew that you were about to take a vacation but nothing ever came;

2. We booked the 2008 dates at the end of September but then there was absolute silence from you and your team;

3. All I read about in your ezine and in your blog posts is how BUSY you are - endless tours of the UK, innumerable hotels, early morning starts, the launch of Breathe Business, conferences, workshops, visits, hardly ever home, bemoaning the lack of balance;

4. The final straw was at the Showcase, when my wife and I saw you hurtling towards us down the corridor, BUSY and on your way between meetings. You stopped to say "hello" to us, quickly told us how you were looking forward to working together and how BUSY you were - and then rushed off again, looking like some American Presidential Candidate;

5. We turned to each other after that and discussed the merits of hiring the BUSIEST coach in Britain to help us.

All in all Chris, we have decided to wait a year - until you are less BUSY, before we consider proceeding with our relationship."

Gulp.

In the call - I accepted and thanked him for his feedback - and hoped that in 2009 we could begin again. I wished him every success and asked him to reassure me that if we met at a dental "gig" again in 2008, he would walk across the room to say "hello" not avoid me - agreed.

We part on good terms - that's important to me.

A few days later I had occasion to check his first point - and he was correct - back in August I went on vacation - and promptly forgot to deliver on the promised follow through - guilty as charged.

I'm also going to plead guilty to all other charges - as I look back over the written material I have produced in recent months, much of it has been about "harvest time" (as Stephen Covey would call it) - working 6 days a week to launch Breathe Business, continue my obligations in The Dental Business School and meet our 2008 sales targets. Busy, busy, busy.

So the whole episode has been a potentially expensive learning curve.

Lesson 1 - make sure you deliver on your "follow up" promises. I'm going to claim that my follow through is normally meticulous - and this one just slipped through the net. The buggeration factor in business is that you always make that type of mistake with the clients or prospects who are most likely to be sensitive to it - isn't that such a bitch?

Lesson 2 - be careful and mindful that what you mean when you say something might not be what the reader hears.

Lessons 3 - if you lose business - find out why.

Yes - this has been the busiest of times - I'm looking forward to 17th December when this harvest time ends.

I remain convinced that I have fulfilled my obligations to clients during this time, judging by the steady stream of appreciation that makes my work a delight to deliver.

2008 for me is principally about "back to balance", with plenty of Sullivan's Free, Focus and Buffer Days already scheduled in my diary.

But my "busy-ness" has certainly caused one potential client to think again - so I'm going to re-phrase my language around that in the future.

Daryl’s 14 year Dream

I and the Kintish team went for lunch to the new sports and community centre recently. What a great resource for the local community. Football pitches, café , community lounge, sports hall …the works, all modern and already in great demand.

By coincidence I met Daryl who was the creator of the complex. He was typically modest ( giving credit to everyone else) but I know he was THE MAN who made it all happen. He had a dream and in spite of the barriers and obstacles one has to deal with when going for these big projects, Daryl never gave up. He told us it was 14 years since he started the project…yes 14 years

DO YOU HAVE A DREAM?

ARE YOU PERSISTENT?

WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU REALLY REALLY WANT?

When you are committed you can have it.

Commitment is doing what you say you’re going to do long after the mood has worn off. Daryl’s commitment never wore off.

Are you abnormal?

If you DON'T feel like this you are either lying ( to yourself!) or you are abnormal. We have asked 10's of thousands how they feel and 99.246% feel like Brian in the picture. To help you feel better you need to prepare not just physically but mentally too.

10 WARM UP MENTAL EXERCISES

1. I am about to give up 3 precious hours, unpaid, so I going to get the most out of it

2. I will enjoy this event and have some real fun

3. This room will be familiar. I will see people on their own, open 2 ‘s and 3’s. They will be welcoming. Beware of the closed 2’s 3’s and 4+ groups.

4. I plan to talk to 3 new people and gain 3 new pieces of information or gossip

5. I will work hard at introducing myself to the person/ people I’m targeting

6. Get myself in the right state. …AND NOT “A RIGHT STATE”

7. Everyone here wants to network. They want to meet me just as much as I want to meet them. The chances of rejection are tiny

8. I’m a decent and likeable person; believe in myself and in my area I have much knowledge and expertise.

9. There will be the odd rude person here…let’s just get away from them as soon as possible

10. It might happen, but very very occasionally I might get rejected. These people aren’t worth giving a second thought to. Let’s focus on the 99.9% of pleasant and welcoming people

20 Tips on what to ask for in a testimonial:

When you tell people how wonderful you are and the service you provide they don't listen. When they hear it from others who they know, like and trust ...they listen.

Here are some tips when you start asking satisfied clients and customers for testimonials

1. Three problems your client faced before you came along.
2. How delighted and happy your client is with your services.
3. How easy and fulfilling it is to work with you.
4. Would they recommend your services to anyone else.
5. How does your client feel by taking up your services.
6. How easy is it to do business with you?
7. Why do they continue to do business with you?
8. Why are they loyal customers?
9. What would you say to someone who has never heard of you before?

10. What is unique about your service.
11. What changes has your client seen in themselves since getting
involved with you.
12. Make sure your client puts your testimonial on their letterhead.
13. Ask them not to date it so it doesn’t become out of date.
14. Always give your client a deadline for when you need the
testimonial back.
15. Ask your client verbally
16. Send them a prepaid envelope to send it back
17. Thank your client with a thank you card

18 Or with something more substantial if it leads to business
19. Don’t date testimonials
20. Write testimonials for your clients and educate where you can. Help them to increase their own referrals

Definition of perseverence according to Will Smith aka Hitch

In the 2005 film Hitch
the main charachter was a 'date doctor'. Hitch shows men how to attract women ( who they really really like).
The best line in the film for me was
"The definition of perseverence is following a course of action in spite of discouragement, opposition or previous failures."

This applies to everything in life and not more so than when it comes to following up opportunities after attending business events. Most people have this dilemma

When you follow up in a professional manner by asking prospects for their permission to follow up or open an escape route by saying "If you'd rather I didn't call pleasetell me " then there is no need to worry about being too pushy.
We run a nationwide programme of seminars to help you overcome all your fears of making the follow up call

"When you see someone without a smile....

...give them one of yours."

SMILE…ITS GOOD FOR BUSINESS

Smiling is infectious; you catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too

I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin

And when he smiled I realised, I’d passes it on to him

I thought about that smile and recognized its worth

A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth

So, if you feel a smile begin, don’t leave it undetected

Let’s start an epidemic quick and get the world infected!!

Think-plan-do....to get the best from your networking

THINK
The reason you're going networking is to 'spot the AHHA sentence' if someone says to you like Freddy above
PLAN
before attending any event plan the 'who what where why when and how' questions

DO....
be enthusiastic
be courteous and polite
be more interested than interesting
be a good listener
be a good host
not be a networking criminal because you don't follow up 'ahaa' moments

Follow up follow up follow up ...or don't go!

At the end of my keynote to a Liverpool business group last week, an attendee complimented me on my session. He identified himself as being with one of the4 big banks and that he thought they might have an interest in my programme.

Before parting company, I had the presence of mind to ask for his business card. I followed him up and we're already talking dates for my training

I keep preaching about the value (and the need) for timely follow up with networking contacts. It's amazing how a strong connection, no matter how brief, can act as the launch pad for opportunities or ignition point for relationships.
Go back and read the story again. Our contact was no more than fifteen seconds long, yet it was the catalyst for a relationship. My follow up contact occurred 48 hours after our conversation yet he responded within an hour of receiving my email.
The moral of my story: follow up with networking contacts within 48 hours of your initial contact, especially those who express interest. You may just get the surprise of your life.

Now, go work your network.

What is your commitment?

Relationships are a testing ground. You are measured as a professional, and as a person, by your willingness to follow through on your commitments. Trying is not enough, good intentions are not enough, excuses are not enough.
The only thing that matters, after all is said and done, is that you did what you said you would do. There is no more powerful way to build trust, solidify relationships and separate yourself from the competition.

Commitment? doing what you say you will long after the mood has taken you.

Yoda said it best "There is no try, only do, or do not."

What is your interest rate?

You'll see the headline and think mortgages, savings, credit crisis , Northern Rock etc.
wrong...this is nothing to do with money, it's to do with networking!
when you meet people ( new and existing contacts what is your interest rate when you communicate with them. Are you listening carefully to what is being said or are you merely waiting for your turn to talk?
I suggest there are 5 levels of listening
1 We don't listen; very rude when we are out there building or reinforcing relationships
2 we pretend to listen. 9men are particularly good at this!)
3 Most of us, most of the time selectiviely listen
4 We listen attentively
5 We listen with our full body. We not only listen but we watch the other person's body language and listen for the tone of voice. People can lie with words but not with their body language and tone.

To become an effective networker we have to spot opportunities. The only way to do this is have our interest rate high!

Have a look at our site for lots of free and useful information

No land in sight….

When Christopher Columbus woke up on day 66, he said “Today we’ll find land.” Of course, this wasn’t the first time he had said this. As a matter of fact, he said it more than his crew wanted to hear. But his clarity and certainty were over-powering, even to his shipmates.

See, when you are 66 days at sea and your crew is mounting a mutiny and forcing you to turn back, they need leadership; they need confidence…most of all, they have to trust and believe in you!

We have all heard the phrase, “you have to sell harder internally than you do to the customer.” Here is great tip on how to sell internally when you have obstacles standing in the way from you and the sale.

It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with IT, management, the legal department, operations or any other area that assists you in delivering your solution to the customer. If you start any conversation with the “we can’t do it” attitude, you are shot from the start.

These departments want to trust you. They have to see confidence, an OUTSTANDING attitude, positive thinking, a “moving heaven and earth” mentality. Simply put, a “can do” attitude.

You will always have hurdles internally in your organization. But the key is for all involved to stay positive. Everyone!!! One non-positive person can tarnish any progress trying to be made for the entire group. Get everyone on board to have a clear mind, step back, and start saying, "Why can’t we?" instead of “We can’t.” And even when you come up with reasons why you can’t do something…challenge them. But challenge them positively…not negatively. That is the difference. Simply say, “Is there a better way?” And, yes, even you can discover a "New World" within your own organization. Have fun and good selling.

Great stuff from John Costigan

As a person resposible for others THIS MUST BE THE TRUE ANSWER TO HAPPINESS AT WORK

Good professional behaviour deserves to receive attention as much as bad behaviour does. Both cases provide an opportunity for your company to foster progression. It is unfortunate that people often only take advantage of the latter scenario to better their company. Appealing to one's pride is actually much easier than trying to lead someone to change. People want to be recognised for the good work they've done. Positive feedback and appreciation will foster not only the personal bonds had between you and your co-workers, but between those people and the very work they are there to do. It is then made nearly inevitable that the worker's progressive measures will not only continue, but likely increase in their rate of implementation.

Remember to

• offer encouragement
• reassure people in their progress
• provide a feeling of victory
• be enthusiastic
• be grateful for all effort being put forth.

• Source:
  Dale Carnegie Course®

I used to be an accountant. We never encouraged or motivated , it wasn't in our nature! But then I went on a Dale Carnegie Course and, literally, it changed my life. People will always swap praise and encouragement for a pay rise

Do you like or love your partner or spouse?

Many years ago my friend Jim suggested liking the person you spend most of your social time with is more important than the love bit.
I fully agree. What's your take on this thought ?

Happy Birthday Kintish

Friday June 1 st 2007 was the start of my 8th year in business as Kintish.
Anniversaries are always time for reflection so let me indulge myself.
I did 35 years training as, qualifying as and practising as a Chartered Accountant. Many people, after seeing me present ask, "Don't you wish you'd done it sooner?" or "You were in the wrong profession, there's no way you were an accountant, I bet you regretted your time " and other similar comments.
Every day now is my birthday. I love every moment of what I do ( well standing on cold railway platforms at 8.22pm waiting for a delayed train isn't my best time of the day); I have made hundreds of good friends and met thousands of nice people.
I would like to think through the training and presentations we ( this includes my associates) have helped people with their confidence. How to walk into a room with their head held high, how to follow up opportunities in a profesional manner. Yes the money is good but the feeling we can change peoples' lives for the better is best.

REGRETS?

Sinatra sang, "Regrets , I've had a few...". I look back over the years as the bean counter and the last 7 years and think 'I have no regrets'. Is is arrogance or complacency? No I just think 'what's the point regretting anyway, a waste of energy. If I have done things wrong ( and I have done trillions) I need to change and improve. That's the best way to use one's energy I believe.

THE NEXT 7 YEARS?

I would love to think I'm superman but I'm not. From January 1st 2005 to May 31st 2007 I hav presented 422 times to 14,121 people. How do I know? i keep records. You can get Kintish out of accountancy but you can't get the accountancy out of Kintish!
We will be as active over the next few years but in differnt ways. We are looking for franchisees
and will be running online teleclasses and web seminars all over the world. There will be less of Will standing on cold railway stations. "Mrs Kintish says, "I bet it won't happen you love the buzz of the interaction with your audiences.2 She's probably right! But, as she'd tell you, she normally is!

Power Pointless!!

I don't use PowerPoint. Ever. And you shouldn't either.

A presentation ought to be a conversation with your audience.
And your job is to do one thing and one thing only - to persuade them to adopt your point of view.

A presentation, whether it's a 90-minute introductory overview on your services, an hour-long teleclass or a two-day workshop, needs to be engaging, entertaining and exciting.

If it's not, it won't persuade anyone.

And PowerPoint won't help you get there. It makes your presentations stiff, constrained, safe. And that's not what you want or need to get your ideas across powerfully.

I was on stage for 3 great speakers recently...

and when you click here you can hear them...and me if you like.

Respect , courtesy and acknowledgement

When you say thank you, treat people with respect and courtesy it is good for business. I don't know about you but I always acknowledge every email I get. (From people I know...not spam!)
That's why I work 18 hours a day I think!
I just feel is anyone writes to say how much they enjoyed a presentation or wants to ask me someone it is pure common courtesy to reply.
Ignoring phone calls and emails from people you know or have met is like passing them in the street and just walking by. You just wouldn't do it

COMPUTERS....Do they rule your life?

We have had problems this week. We couldn't get on the Internet, couldn't send or receive emails. Result? We couldn't talk to the world...our clients, our prospects our suppliers....each other!!
One little problem it turned out to be but what disruption and upset. Everyone in the office walked around as if their best friend had died. And you know what, unfortuntely, in our life today that how it seems when the computers go down.
The worst for my team was they had to talk to me instead of sending me emails...now that was bad!

So, have YOU been on the telly?

I was today- on BBC2 Working Lunch. Here is a BBC link at least!

Ever been to Barcelona?

I have just spent 4 days working and playing there.
What a fantastic place. Put it on your agenda and itinery for a break there very soon
Full details here
We stayed here. Expensive but then the client helped pay for some of it!

Confidence R Us

Nigel Percy wrote this to me

The C word comes up a lot when I’m training and speaking! Whether it’s Leadership, Personal Development, Communications or ‘harder’ skills like planning, presentations or problem solving, one of the most common personal objectives of the delegates is “I’d like to have more confidence”.

One thing I know for sure; if there was a store called Confidence R Us then it would need to be open 24/7. What’s more, it would make a fortune, every day. So I normally ask them, “OK so where does confidence come from?”

Very quickly most audiences will tell me that it is from having knowledge and skills based on using that knowledge over time. For others, it’s the feedback from other people; “wow, you’re good at that” or “you seem very confident with that”.

When I question this belief, people generally give me an example of when they failed at something because they lacked confidence. I give them Orr’s Law back*.

Here’s the secret.

Just get yourself some confidence. Believe you have it before you have the competence – little kids do. If you believe you have it, you have it. This tactic gives you the confidence and the courage to persist until you can do it. I know this is a decision we can all make because we do it the other way round all the time. Think of when you last gave up after 5 minutes and then said “Forget it. I just can’t do this”.

An instant, made up belief. As soon as you say that, your belief system kicks in and your subconscious goes about proving what you believe. Just do it the other way.

* Orr’s Law – “What the thinker thinks, the prover will prove”

I'm going to lose 18 pounds...

no not money but weight. I have just changed my diet to stop eating piggy type food and become more sensisble.
How? By trying herbalife food...watch this space.
Catherine introduced me to this. Interested? View here

"You're never fully dressed without a smile"

Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly
They stand out a mile --
But Brother, You're never fully dressed Without a smile!

Who cares what they're wearing
From Main Street, to Saville Row,
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
You're never fully dressed without a smile!

(From the show "Annie")

When we talk about preparing for an event I think the words above are just so so relevant

I'm in Sheffield tonight. Why?

Have a look here

Whenver I book a hotel they ask if I have any special requirements....

...and I always say in the online comment box "I would like a warm smile on arrival!"
How many times to I get it? Probably 4 out of 10.
Why oh why do these hotel chains spend millions on the buildings.


The beautiful reception area with its mirrors , marble and chandeliers which we don't really notice. We do all notice that very first inter-action though...so so important when we arrive after a long journey.
I write this just after a similar incident. Don't get me wrong everything since that first few seconds has been spot on.
I arrived. The receptionist was on the phone to my right. Her call finished she moved across the desk to another person booking in and straight passed me as if I wasn't there.
All it wanted was some eye contact and a smile or a quick "won't keep you a moment" or any sort of acknowledgement that I existed and was about to help pay her wages!

How important is your relationship with your suppliers?

Everyone is obsessed about the relationship with clients.
"They pay our wages"
"There's no business with customers"
"The customer is King"
Heard them all and there are lots more.
But I believe the relationship with one's suppliers has to be just as important.
I spent yesterday with 4 of of my key suppliers.
My solicitor Andrew Zatman of Zatman & Co
My business consultant Graham Hudson of Exceptional Business Results
My web site designer Brian Portlock of Gembiz
My search engine optimiser expert Michael Jones of Your Visibility

4 nice people to do business with. We had fruitful meeetings and they helped me dramatically achieve a number of issues which we are tackling at the moment. I am an expert in my field, they are experts in theirs. I hope the value I give my clients matches the value I will be getting from them in the next few weeks.
Treat your suppliers with the same respect you treat your clients and you will get a great retun from the money you pay them.

It's fascinating what you learn when you are sunbathing

I have been away with all my family which includes wife, childen,their partners and my beautiful granddaugher Aimee. One lies there listeing to the banter which included everyone taking to aimee, 15 months old.She doesn't talk yet, just points and nods or shakes her head. It's all so easy for her becuase we all only asked closed questions.

having a nasty mind I wondered how Aimee would have coped with "What do you want to play with, your doll or teddy bear?"
A little more about questioning

Closed questions

There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. A common definition is:

A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short phrase.

Thus 'How old are you?' and 'Where do you live?' are closed questions. A more limiting definition is:
A closed question can be answered with either 'yes' or 'no'.

Using closed questions

Closed questions have the following characteristics:

• They give you facts.
• They are easy to answer.
• They are quick to answer.
• They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.

Definition

An open question can be defined as:

An open question is likely to receive a long answer.

Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.

Using open questions

Open questions have the following characteristics:

• They ask the respondent to think and reflect.
• They will give you opinions and feelings.
• They hand control of the conversation to the respondent

Open questions begin with such as: what, why, how, when, where,which, who.

Using open questions can be scary, as they seem to hand the baton of control over to the other person. However, well-placed questions do leave you in control as you steer their interest and engage them where you want them.

When opening conversations, a good balance is around three closed questions to one open question. The closed questions start the conversation and summarize progress, whilst the open question gets the other person thinking and continuing to give you useful information about them.

An extract from my book "I hate networking!"

This is a short extract to show readers the style of the book

Fancy buying it?

View here for details

For the 'lazy' reader we have it in audio format too. Here are the details

Chapter 7 - Building relationships

The event 7:05 p.m.

“Hi, Will, I’m back.”

“Tell me all about it then.”

“Mike was precisely as I thought; welcoming and friendly. The first ‘challenge’ however was that he didn’t introduce me to the others.”

“And why do you think that was, bearing in mind you thought he was an experienced networker?”

“I know precisely why. He couldn’t remember their names!”

“Correct. So what did you do?”

“I asked him if I could introduce myself.”

“And did you?”

“Yes, I met Stewart, Celia, Joanne and Robert. And, using your techniques, I repeated their names and as you can see, I learnt them.”

“You really are making some progress here, Brian. By the way, how do you think Mike felt when you asked if you could introduce yourself?”

“I’ve not even thought about it.”

“Well, I’ll tell you. He was mightily relieved and tremendously grateful. Why? Because you got him out of a big hole, saving him a lot of embarrassment.”

“Now you mention it, I suppose I did. Hopefully he’ll remember that and the next time I bill him, he won’t quibble about the price!”

“What else happened?”

“Well, the group sort of split into two shortly after I arrived. I ended up talking to Robert, Celia moved off and Mike, Joanne and Stewart started talking scuba–diving …of all things.”

“What’s wrong with that then?”

“It’s a business-related event, it all seemed a bit frivolous to me.”

“I’d actually say quite the opposite. We’ll deal with what to talk about soon. But, tell me, how did your conversation go with Robert?”

“All right, I suppose.”

Kintish on holiday has time to reflect

I am 59 and just love helping people become more effective and confident networkers. But I can't keep doing 180 presentations per annum not only in the UK but continental Europe too.
"All work and no play makes jack a dull boy"...and all that!
But we have so many new ideas and just not enough person resource.
What is the answer?
We are going to franchise our system. The training is all modular , the marketing has a system ( we practise...to the letter...what we teach and our back room is fully systematised.
a perfect model for a franchise.
Interested?
View here first
Interested more? Call me, Will Kintish on 07939 205719 to explore ideas

Dr Goldberg....the miracle maker

Doctor Goldberg is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis. He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment. One day, Henry, an elderly gent, slowly struggles into his waiting room. He is completely bent over and leans heavily on his walking stick. A chair is found for him. Eventually, his turn comes to go into Doctor Goldberg’s office. Fifteen minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, he comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. He is holding her head high and has a smile on his face. A woman in the waiting room says to Henry, "It's unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Goldberg do to you?"
"Miracle, huh miracle," says Henry, "he just gave me a longer walking stick!"

What I learnt from my audience today

I believe I stay up with the pack on networking skills and knowledge because of the hundreds of people I present to. Often in those hundreds there is one or two people who will come up with something I haven't heard before.
"What would the perfect client look like for you?2 was one good question.
In today's speedy world time over money seems to be the scarce resource. So, when we go networking and give our full attention to someone we share that resourse which can never be replaced (unlike money which can). The person to whom you give that attention will be pleased, flattered and not forget you. After all, networking is building relationships...what a great way to do it.

Listen, don’t just wait

A key skill for effective networkers is to be able to listen properly. There are 5 levels of listening

1 We don’t listen. It’s rude and we cannot possibly build relationships! People who do this are simply waiting to talk rather than listening. You will meet the ‘Ah but…’ and ‘Yes yes and ….’ So called listeners.

2 Men are better at level 2 than women. We pretend to listen!

3 Most people do this most of the time. We selectively listen. When we are talking to people we keep changing channels in our heads. It’s natural in today’s sound-bite society to lose concentration. I don’t condone it, it’s just how it is.

4 This is where we listen attentively. We can’t do it for more than say 30 seconds but at least it does show we are paying attention and treating the other person with respect.

5 This is the key when we ask important questions and we really want to get a truthful answer. I call it full-body listening. Not only should we listen but also watch the person’s body language carefully. We can lie with our words but not with our tone of voice or body movements. When we look carefully we can often glean more by reading between the lines and realising that what isn’t being said can be more important than what is!

The core skill we need to be an effective networker is asking the right questions but if we don’t listen at level 4 and 5 it will a great skill wasted

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

I was inspired to write this posting from an article by Nigel Percy who produces a brilliant weekly newsletter. Check him out here

Imagine the scene. You have been asked by someone senior to represent your company as he was invited to a big and important business event but, at the last minute had another even more important meeting.

BUT.. like good professionals do you have planned and prepared for it carefully.

You know …

• The timings
• The format
• The key people you want to meet
• How to get there…and back home again
• What you’d like to achieve from the event
• All about your hosts
• The dress code
• You’re feeling a touch anxious but ready for it

You then decide to pop in to see your close colleague for a quick chat an hour before the event.

“You look terrible! Your hair’s a mess and your shoes look ridiculous.” “You’ve no right to be in front of all those people; you’re too junior to represent the firm.”

“You don’t know enough about xxxx.”

“How are you going to break the ice,’ cos you don’t know anyone do you?”

And you’re so nervous that you’re bound to forget the name of your host.”

“No doubt you’ll do something stupid like tripping up or knocking your glass of wine over fellow guests.”

“People just aren’t going to take you seriously”

“ I think everyone is going to laugh at you and you’ll have to run off home early”

“I’d become ill if I were you and send your apologies.”

Would your close colleague or best friend talk to you like that? Would you even let your fiercest critic talk to you like that? Of course not; it’s unacceptable. So why would we do it to ourselves?

Why do we talk to ourselves like this? The next time it starts, ask the voice, “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

Give it a silly voice (Donald Duck is good) and send it to a far away, less significant part of your body (like your middle toe of your left foot). Let it try, from down there.

Believe in yourself; you can do it. You can walk into that room and be a great ambassador for your brand. be yourself. Give your full attention to people; be interested more than interesting

n

Don't go in for the kill when

you spot a potential opportunity. When you are out there networking and someone says "To be honest we don't think our advisors/ suppliers are doing a good job for us at the most" it is just too tempting to say "We can do that" or "Oh we're better than that" or " Yes, I hear they're not very good"
NEVER slag off the oppostion. It is bad form and there are no benefits whatsoever.You wouldn't like the role reversed.Also, you are suggesting this potential new client made a bad judgement sometime previously when appointing those people.
Simply keep asking questions to move to a position when it is appropriate to move to the next stage...more soon

How would you have felt?

THIS IS A LETTER I SENT TO THE MANAGER OF A WELL-KNOWN HOTEL CHAIN

(If I don't get satisfaction the name will be revealed!)

I have just arrived from a very long 12 hour journey to your hotel at 11:30pm Wednesday 21^st March and I felt secure. Why? Because I booked with laterooms.com (REF 2424513R), got my confirmation, you had my credit card, so everything was fine…as far as I was concerned!
Then Roland, your night porter (a lovely young guy) said to me “sorry sir the hotel is full, we are going to send you to another hotel ”

How would you have felt? I even made it clear in the special requirements section when I booked that I would be arriving late.

To add insult to injury that hotel is a long way from where I am working today.
The reason I chose your hotel was because it was close to where I was planning on working today. My whole life is spent travelling and I use lots of thistle hotels for both accommodation purposes and also to run my conferences, that is, until now.
Keeping all the above in mind, Monica, I’d be grateful if you would consider compensating me in some way for all this stress and strain that I had to put up with yesterday.

This isn’t your fault, but for the first time in 10 years I overslept which means I arrived late at my clients. Had I been at the “right hotel” I wouldn’t have done! I look forward to a positive response.
Yours sincerely,

Will Kintish

P.S. The very worst, Monica, is that because I overslept, and because I was so far away from my client, I missed my inclusive breakfast!

BIG NEWS!! Will Kintish felt uncomfortable ina room

I didn't quite feel like the man on the left but I did feel uncomfortable. Why? Because for the first 15 minutes or so i didn't know anyone and it was a SOCIAL event. I genuinely believe attending social events, not knowing people, rather than BUSINESS events is so much harder. When we attend the latter it really is so easy. Everyone is there to network, to look for new opportunities, to find more knowledge. Yet when we go to social gatherings there are no central themes. Oh, and by the way, there were no women at the event i attended. For me, that made it doubly hard.

To get help you need to help yourself first

I presented to young law students today, a number of whom haven't yet got jobs. I asked them where they would like to work (it's March, the course finishes in the Summer) and you know what ? many said they had no idea. i shouted at them and told them to get focused! shouting at clients is not clever,although the Chief Exec said, "well done!"
Some seemed to know which town they wanted to work in...a start. This is the advice I gave to them.

1. Choose say 6 firms you would like to work for
2. Ask everyone you know "Who do you know at....?"
3. If they find someone who knows someone there...
4. Say to your contact, "Please can you help me? If you were me, how would you get an interview with...?"

If people know you, like you and trust you they will be keen to help.
BUT you have to help yourself first

Men - v - women on mother's day

"A mother knows all about her children.She knows about

• romances
• best friends
• favourite foods
• secret fears
• hopes and dreams

A father is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."

(From a card sent by my son to his mother...card by urbangraphic)

Don't forget your pen, your business cards and your torch.

Business cards and pen seem fine...but a torch. You don't actually need a physical one but you do need a mental one.
You need it to put the focus on others. One key issue for people is they spend too much time focusing on themselves, hence their nerves when attending an event. When you give your attention to others, be more interested than interesting,and focus on others, you don't have time for nerves.

Here is Will Kintish...and his boss!

Kintish went partying to an exhibition at Olympia

It was full of lawyers but we still had a great time! Look at this man I picked up, he is in a time warp. His fees however were only £3.3.0 (three guineas to young people) per hour!

What has smoking, using the phone in the car and selling have in common?

They're all (perceived?) now as 'social diseases '!!
I have no comment to make about cigarettes and not using the hands-free but I can make reference to the third category.
I believe selling is an outmoded way of promoting services and products. So many people today are too impatient when it comes to business development. It can often be ...'here it is this is what it does, do you want it or not?!'
Slow down , build the relationships first. Ask searching questions to establish needs and if you think you can HELP +ADD VALUE then, and only then offer your wares. If there isn't full enthusiasm ask questions like, "What would need to happen for you to move forward (or change your mind)?
"NO" often means 'not yet'...but aim to establish this. Ask permisssion to contact again and then do so when you have an agreement.
Maybe, at the end of the day, we can take 'selling' off the list of social diseases?

Sam Walton may be dead but....

Sam Walton, co-founder of the Wal-Mart, had a simple view. You should listen to everyone in the organisation and figure out ways to get them talking. You tell your staff everything because the more they know about the business, the more they will care: the more they care the more they will act as if they care and the more successful the organisation will be.

Sam Walton may be dead but his spirit lives on in the largest retailer the world has ever known.

Internal communication is about far more than just channels and messages. It is about defining and reinforcing the values of the organisation. The difference between organisations that perform outstandingly and those that do not is very often to do with their ability to utilise the full potential of their staff. Staff who feel respected, valued, empowered and supported are far more likely to work harder, be more loyal, take personal responsibility for the success of the firm and take initiative to make things work better.

Tesco’s approach echoes that of Sam Walton. In Sir Terry Leahy’s words “Our aim is to install a culture where everyone’s first thought is to take responsibility rather than cover their back, where we want everyone to be leaders.”

Shareing is the key. The more you tell and show people the more they want to be part of your company.

No-one should work "for" anyone, only "with"...

Here is the team Will Kintish works with

A tale from the bathroom

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

Names, names names

DALE CARNEGIE SAID OVER 75 YEARS AGO

“Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

- Dale Carnegie

No single action conveys the message "you're important" as effectively as remembering another person's name. Here are some steps you might take to help ensure name recollection:

• Hear and understand the name
• Create a mind picture linking the name with the person
• Add details about the person to the mind picture
• Repeat the name in conversation

Remember the 3 ducks?

FIGJAM

This is an acronym standing for Flipping heck, I’m good. Just ask me. I heard it said it was a nickname given by the Aussie cricket team to one of the England cricketers who they thought was rather big-headed!

This could equally be applied to the vast majority of professional people who feel too proud to market themselves. It shows up in their thinking:

- If I'm great, people will finally discover me

- I'm lowering myself by self-promotion

- Promotion is boasting and I'm not a boaster

- People will think I'm like a used car salesperson

- I don't want to embarrass myself

- I don't want to put myself out there and be rejected

- People already know what I do, so why push it?

How naïve, how 20^th century, how narrow-minded!

In today’s competitive world we all have no choice but to be visible and market ourselves in an appropriate manner.

“What the problem then, patient?”

It is said when the diagnosis is right the doctor is close to helping you get better.

It’s the same when you have those terrible nerves before you walk into a room. What exactly is your fear or concern? When you know that, I as the (networking ) doctor can cure you!

Going through the motions?

I walked into the reception of a client recently and the lady, sort of, half looked up from her book and asked who I wanted to see. I felt I was intruding!

Whilst waiting I thought she doesn’t like what she does, she is a bad image for her company and wasn’t a nice person.

“What are you reading?” I asked. She told me. “Do you read a lot?” I enquired further. By this time she had put her book down and started to chat. In the next 3 to 4 minutes networking with this lady I found out all sorts. When I went into the meeting I got a nice smile and a cheery goodbye.

People love talking about themselves and having the spotlight shine on them. We had got to know each other; she liked me, the basis for the start of any sort of relationship. That’s what networking is all about.

When you wake up tomorrow….

You can decide to be happy or miserable or just go through the motions. Personally I love what I’m doing and get a big kick out of helping others with their self-confidence and business development. If you don’t like what you’re doing consider, in great depth, if you ought to be doing something else. Life isn’t a rehearsal, I don’t think, this is the one chance we have to be happy. Time to grasp it?

If you were in front of a firing squad…

...and you were asked “What is your last wish?” what would yours be. Is there something in your life you wish you’d done and now here is the last chance?

We generally don’t do things because of FEAR. Fear of failure and fear of rejection. I once heard this profound statement. ‘Fear is temporary , regret is permanent.’

Listen for the 3 ducks

Many peoples' crime when networking is not following up.You have a dilemma after you spot a potential business opportunity
The difference between persevering and persisting on the one hand and pestering and being too pushy on the other is the key.For the purpose of this posting we won't divulge how to do one and not the other.What you should know is no-one will buy from you until the 3 ducks are in line. They're called 'Ready','Willing' and 'Able'. It is only then that people will spend their money with you.But it is only when you keep in touch and follow up in a professional manner will you know when is the right time.

Fancy speaking about networking skills for Kintish?

We are offering franchises as we believe there is so much work about, we have created a brand, and we'd like to offer you an opportunity if you want to boast your training and presenting career.
For more details view here

Einstein is here, alive and well...

....well not Albert himself of course, but Einstein Network TV.This is a subcription channel which...Well read what it says on the front page of their website

We combine industry knowledge with television and eLearning expertise to design concise and informative training and development materials.
We work with leading professional institutions to promote excellence in CPD/CPE.
Our unique visual learning solutions use the powerful media of TV, video, CD and online technology helping to make learning more stimulating, effective and rewarding.

I was recently interviewed for approximately 25 minutes about the basics of networking.In about 4 weeks it will be available to all their subsribers with all my contact details. I think it was a fantastic marketing opportunity.

FANCY BEING ON TV?
If you have an expertise you think would be useful to the professional and financial world call me and I will put you in touch with the Joan, the really nice associate producer who is always on the look out for 'experts'.

When you're young and inexperienced...

you will find networking more of a challenge than 'us old-timers'. I was at a Law firm in Scotland today where the managing partner acknowledged this but said of the more experienced people,
"They're not cleverer than you- they've just been round the block a few more times than you."
So true. Just be yourself, ask questions, show interest, and when you don't know...admit it.

Nothing ever changes. People are all the same wherever you go.

I presented at a Business Link networking event recently. There were approximately 70 people there representing small business owners or bankers! Before I started I watched the peoples’ behaviour…it was normal. People who knew no-one found a quiet spot and sat alone. The group from the bank all formed a circle , a bit like the old Wild West where the covered wagons tried to protect themselves from the marauding Indians!

I become very unpopular ( I guess) when I ‘nudged’ the loners to talk to other ‘Billy and Betty no-mates and broke up the big circle.

By the time the presentation was over they had all been sorted and we had a room of enthusiastic networkers.

Nothing ever changes.

DOCENDO DISCIMUS

I heard this phrase recently and as I had never heard it before asked what it meant. It is Latin for the “The more we teach, the more we learn.” So true

IGNORANT PEOPLE ….meet TED.

One fear people have when attending business events is not knowing the answer to a question and showing themselves up. I guess it is a natural thing to think particularly with younger people who are starting out in their careers. Just because the person you’re talking to knows something doesn’t mean to say you should. Enter TED. Generally people are keen to tell explain things when you don’t understand what they are saying or it is of a technical nature when you haven’t learnt about. Try one of these questions.

T ell me more about that.

E xplain how that works

D escribe that to me in more detail.

These are just a sample of the type of phrases you might use. I’m sure you’ll find some more.

Don’t be afraid to ask…otherwise how will you ever expand your knowledge?

S.H.I.N.E. to make a brilliant first impression

We all know the phrase ‘You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.’ Not always true but more often than not. You want, always, to create a great first impression?

S mile

H andshake. Make it firm and friendly…no wet fish ones please

I …a bit of a cheat but this is for good eye contact. I believe the most important letter of the 5

N ame.Give your name slowly and clearly and, more importantly, listen for theirs. If you don’t catch their name ask them to repeat it. They will be pleased you are showing interest.

E nthusiasm. When you show a genuine eagerness and interest in the other person their positive impression of you will be complete.

Try SHINE, it works…promise

THE SECRET OF THE CONFIDENT NETWORKER

Most people are somewhere between a touch anxious and petrified when they attend events, social or business, and have to meet new people. I have discovered the secret to overcome this problem. It is all about focusing on the right person. People tend to be self-conscious, self aware spend too long thinking ‘How do I look, how will I come across, will I be interesting, etc. When you put al your energy, into focusing on others you will find the nerves disappear. Why? Because you will have no time for this self-centred thinking. I have written a full article on this topic. Email will@kintish.co.uk if you’d like it.

Magic...a story telling evening

I arrived in Edinburgh, my favourite UK city, and was invited by my co-presenter Clark Cunningham to join him at a story telling evening. My first reaction was " What?" But I went and what a great evening. People told stories, sang and played music at the Scottish story Telling Centre on the Royal Mile
I lady sang, her name is Phyllis Davison who lives half the time in Edinburgh and half in Ontario, Canada.
She sang us a song and we all had to learn the chorus
And so the stories do unfold
As we grow from young to old
We live a chapter every day
Discovering a various way
I really was looking for an excuse not to go this evening ...but as I tell all delegates
IF YOU DON'T GO, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!

KINTISH BLOGGING RETURNS

KINTISH BLOGGING RETURNS

I changed, no was forced, to the new Blog and through some teccy problem couldn’t seem to sort things out…hence no blog. I miss telling the world about my new-found knowledge but here we go again.

Check out this hotel

A beautiful privately-owned hotel near Derby.i got a really warm welcome, the "dining room" was the kitchen table and the service was 100% it's called Kegworth House. I spend my life in 'chain named'hotels...expensive, impersonal and samey. call Trish and book yourself in...you won't be disappointed

Alarm clocks and trainers

Peter Thomson sent this in his weekly tgimondays.com newsletter

This message is based on a true story I heard at dinner, at a friend’s house, last Friday evening:

And the boy, about 12 twelve years old, turned to his father and asked:

“Dad, can I get some new trainers?”

His dad replied: “Yes, of course son”

A couple of weeks went by and the trainers hadn’t appeared.

The son asked again.

“Dad, you did say I could get some new trainers – can I get them please?”

The dad again replied: “Yes, of course son”

Just one week later when the boy came home from school – there on the kitchen table was a box with his name on it.

Oh YES! He thought - my new trainers – mind you the box looks just a little small for trainers.

He opened it – and inside found…

An alarm clock!

And a note from his father:

Here’s how you can get your trainers. The local newsagent needs a paper delivery boy and I’ve told him you want the job.

The clock will make sure you’re there on time – and in just a few weeks – you can get your trainers – love Dad xxxx

Are there thoughts to be thought about this true story?

I think so – here are mine:

1. Are there times in my life, when in reflection, I wish I’d given the clock rather than the trainers? Yes!

2. Are there times when I wish I’d received the clock rather than the trainers? Yes!

3. How many people can I share this story with?

Oh by the way…
The young man in the story is now in his late twenties and massively successful running his own business – and in life.

Do you and I think that the clock may have had just something to do with his success?

I would have thought so – wouldn’t you?

You will share this story with people won’t you?

Go on then…

I'm top of my career but

it doesn't stop me going to my 'trade association' ( Professsional Speakers Association in this case)and listening to others. When you go with the right attitude and listen carefully you ALWAYS gain something. I learn lots about humour and story telling when presenting when I attended our national meeting in Leeds yesterday.
I am at the top of my career BUT the only way to stay there is to keep learning, learning and learning. There's always more to learn, or sometimes be reminded of things you'd learnt in the past and had forgotten.
Not only do you learn from the stage, at the coffee breaks and lunch you network and learn even more from your peers. The PSA is made up of an organisation of "givers".Everyone ( well, I suppose there are a few exceptions)wants to help and no-one sees the other person as competition. A great trade association to be in.

Grandmas and lawyers

Lawyers should never ask a honest grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defence attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."