The C word comes up a lot when I’m training and speaking! Whether it’s Leadership, Personal Development, Communications or ‘harder’ skills like planning, presentations or problem solving, one of the most common personal objectives of the delegates is “I’d like to have more confidence”.
One thing I know for sure; if there was a store called Confidence R Us then it would need to be open 24/7. What’s more, it would make a fortune, every day. So I normally ask them, “OK so where does confidence come from?”
Very quickly most audiences will tell me that it is from having knowledge and skills based on using that knowledge over time. For others, it’s the feedback from other people; “wow, you’re good at that” or “you seem very confident with that”.
When I question this belief, people generally give me an example of when they failed at something because they lacked confidence. I give them Orr’s Law back*.
Here’s the secret.
Just get yourself some confidence. Believe you have it before you have the competence – little kids do. If you believe you have it, you have it. This tactic gives you the confidence and the courage to persist until you can do it. I know this is a decision we can all make because we do it the other way round all the time. Think of when you last gave up after 5 minutes and then said “Forget it. I just can’t do this”.
An instant, made up belief. As soon as you say that, your belief system kicks in and your subconscious goes about proving what you believe. Just do it the other way.
* Orr’s Law – “What the thinker thinks, the prover will prove”