Dr Goldberg....the miracle maker

Doctor Goldberg is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis. He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment. One day, Henry, an elderly gent, slowly struggles into his waiting room. He is completely bent over and leans heavily on his walking stick. A chair is found for him. Eventually, his turn comes to go into Doctor Goldberg’s office. Fifteen minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, he comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. He is holding her head high and has a smile on his face. A woman in the waiting room says to Henry, "It's unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Goldberg do to you?"
"Miracle, huh miracle," says Henry, "he just gave me a longer walking stick!"

What I learnt from my audience today

I believe I stay up with the pack on networking skills and knowledge because of the hundreds of people I present to. Often in those hundreds there is one or two people who will come up with something I haven't heard before.
"What would the perfect client look like for you?2 was one good question.
In today's speedy world time over money seems to be the scarce resource. So, when we go networking and give our full attention to someone we share that resourse which can never be replaced (unlike money which can). The person to whom you give that attention will be pleased, flattered and not forget you. After all, networking is building relationships...what a great way to do it.

Listen, don’t just wait

A key skill for effective networkers is to be able to listen properly. There are 5 levels of listening

1 We don’t listen. It’s rude and we cannot possibly build relationships! People who do this are simply waiting to talk rather than listening. You will meet the ‘Ah but…’ and ‘Yes yes and ….’ So called listeners.

2 Men are better at level 2 than women. We pretend to listen!

3 Most people do this most of the time. We selectively listen. When we are talking to people we keep changing channels in our heads. It’s natural in today’s sound-bite society to lose concentration. I don’t condone it, it’s just how it is.

4 This is where we listen attentively. We can’t do it for more than say 30 seconds but at least it does show we are paying attention and treating the other person with respect.

5 This is the key when we ask important questions and we really want to get a truthful answer. I call it full-body listening. Not only should we listen but also watch the person’s body language carefully. We can lie with our words but not with our tone of voice or body movements. When we look carefully we can often glean more by reading between the lines and realising that what isn’t being said can be more important than what is!

The core skill we need to be an effective networker is asking the right questions but if we don’t listen at level 4 and 5 it will a great skill wasted

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

I was inspired to write this posting from an article by Nigel Percy who produces a brilliant weekly newsletter. Check him out here

Imagine the scene. You have been asked by someone senior to represent your company as he was invited to a big and important business event but, at the last minute had another even more important meeting.

BUT.. like good professionals do you have planned and prepared for it carefully.

You know …

• The timings
• The format
• The key people you want to meet
• How to get there…and back home again
• What you’d like to achieve from the event
• All about your hosts
• The dress code
• You’re feeling a touch anxious but ready for it

You then decide to pop in to see your close colleague for a quick chat an hour before the event.

“You look terrible! Your hair’s a mess and your shoes look ridiculous.” “You’ve no right to be in front of all those people; you’re too junior to represent the firm.”

“You don’t know enough about xxxx.”

“How are you going to break the ice,’ cos you don’t know anyone do you?”

And you’re so nervous that you’re bound to forget the name of your host.”

“No doubt you’ll do something stupid like tripping up or knocking your glass of wine over fellow guests.”

“People just aren’t going to take you seriously”

“ I think everyone is going to laugh at you and you’ll have to run off home early”

“I’d become ill if I were you and send your apologies.”

Would your close colleague or best friend talk to you like that? Would you even let your fiercest critic talk to you like that? Of course not; it’s unacceptable. So why would we do it to ourselves?

Why do we talk to ourselves like this? The next time it starts, ask the voice, “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”

Give it a silly voice (Donald Duck is good) and send it to a far away, less significant part of your body (like your middle toe of your left foot). Let it try, from down there.

Believe in yourself; you can do it. You can walk into that room and be a great ambassador for your brand. be yourself. Give your full attention to people; be interested more than interesting

n

Don't go in for the kill when

you spot a potential opportunity. When you are out there networking and someone says "To be honest we don't think our advisors/ suppliers are doing a good job for us at the most" it is just too tempting to say "We can do that" or "Oh we're better than that" or " Yes, I hear they're not very good"
NEVER slag off the oppostion. It is bad form and there are no benefits whatsoever.You wouldn't like the role reversed.Also, you are suggesting this potential new client made a bad judgement sometime previously when appointing those people.
Simply keep asking questions to move to a position when it is appropriate to move to the next stage...more soon

How would you have felt?

THIS IS A LETTER I SENT TO THE MANAGER OF A WELL-KNOWN HOTEL CHAIN

(If I don't get satisfaction the name will be revealed!)

I have just arrived from a very long 12 hour journey to your hotel at 11:30pm Wednesday 21^st March and I felt secure. Why? Because I booked with laterooms.com (REF 2424513R), got my confirmation, you had my credit card, so everything was fine…as far as I was concerned!
Then Roland, your night porter (a lovely young guy) said to me “sorry sir the hotel is full, we are going to send you to another hotel ”

How would you have felt? I even made it clear in the special requirements section when I booked that I would be arriving late.

To add insult to injury that hotel is a long way from where I am working today.
The reason I chose your hotel was because it was close to where I was planning on working today. My whole life is spent travelling and I use lots of thistle hotels for both accommodation purposes and also to run my conferences, that is, until now.
Keeping all the above in mind, Monica, I’d be grateful if you would consider compensating me in some way for all this stress and strain that I had to put up with yesterday.

This isn’t your fault, but for the first time in 10 years I overslept which means I arrived late at my clients. Had I been at the “right hotel” I wouldn’t have done! I look forward to a positive response.
Yours sincerely,

Will Kintish

P.S. The very worst, Monica, is that because I overslept, and because I was so far away from my client, I missed my inclusive breakfast!

BIG NEWS!! Will Kintish felt uncomfortable ina room

I didn't quite feel like the man on the left but I did feel uncomfortable. Why? Because for the first 15 minutes or so i didn't know anyone and it was a SOCIAL event. I genuinely believe attending social events, not knowing people, rather than BUSINESS events is so much harder. When we attend the latter it really is so easy. Everyone is there to network, to look for new opportunities, to find more knowledge. Yet when we go to social gatherings there are no central themes. Oh, and by the way, there were no women at the event i attended. For me, that made it doubly hard.

To get help you need to help yourself first

I presented to young law students today, a number of whom haven't yet got jobs. I asked them where they would like to work (it's March, the course finishes in the Summer) and you know what ? many said they had no idea. i shouted at them and told them to get focused! shouting at clients is not clever,although the Chief Exec said, "well done!"
Some seemed to know which town they wanted to work in...a start. This is the advice I gave to them.

1. Choose say 6 firms you would like to work for
2. Ask everyone you know "Who do you know at....?"
3. If they find someone who knows someone there...
4. Say to your contact, "Please can you help me? If you were me, how would you get an interview with...?"

If people know you, like you and trust you they will be keen to help.
BUT you have to help yourself first

Men - v - women on mother's day

"A mother knows all about her children.She knows about

• romances
• best friends
• favourite foods
• secret fears
• hopes and dreams

A father is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."

(From a card sent by my son to his mother...card by urbangraphic)

Don't forget your pen, your business cards and your torch.

Business cards and pen seem fine...but a torch. You don't actually need a physical one but you do need a mental one.
You need it to put the focus on others. One key issue for people is they spend too much time focusing on themselves, hence their nerves when attending an event. When you give your attention to others, be more interested than interesting,and focus on others, you don't have time for nerves.

Here is Will Kintish...and his boss!

Kintish went partying to an exhibition at Olympia

It was full of lawyers but we still had a great time! Look at this man I picked up, he is in a time warp. His fees however were only £3.3.0 (three guineas to young people) per hour!

What has smoking, using the phone in the car and selling have in common?

They're all (perceived?) now as 'social diseases '!!
I have no comment to make about cigarettes and not using the hands-free but I can make reference to the third category.
I believe selling is an outmoded way of promoting services and products. So many people today are too impatient when it comes to business development. It can often be ...'here it is this is what it does, do you want it or not?!'
Slow down , build the relationships first. Ask searching questions to establish needs and if you think you can HELP +ADD VALUE then, and only then offer your wares. If there isn't full enthusiasm ask questions like, "What would need to happen for you to move forward (or change your mind)?
"NO" often means 'not yet'...but aim to establish this. Ask permisssion to contact again and then do so when you have an agreement.
Maybe, at the end of the day, we can take 'selling' off the list of social diseases?

Sam Walton may be dead but....

Sam Walton, co-founder of the Wal-Mart, had a simple view. You should listen to everyone in the organisation and figure out ways to get them talking. You tell your staff everything because the more they know about the business, the more they will care: the more they care the more they will act as if they care and the more successful the organisation will be.

Sam Walton may be dead but his spirit lives on in the largest retailer the world has ever known.

Internal communication is about far more than just channels and messages. It is about defining and reinforcing the values of the organisation. The difference between organisations that perform outstandingly and those that do not is very often to do with their ability to utilise the full potential of their staff. Staff who feel respected, valued, empowered and supported are far more likely to work harder, be more loyal, take personal responsibility for the success of the firm and take initiative to make things work better.

Tesco’s approach echoes that of Sam Walton. In Sir Terry Leahy’s words “Our aim is to install a culture where everyone’s first thought is to take responsibility rather than cover their back, where we want everyone to be leaders.”

Shareing is the key. The more you tell and show people the more they want to be part of your company.

No-one should work "for" anyone, only "with"...

Here is the team Will Kintish works with

A tale from the bathroom

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

Names, names names

DALE CARNEGIE SAID OVER 75 YEARS AGO

“Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

- Dale Carnegie

No single action conveys the message "you're important" as effectively as remembering another person's name. Here are some steps you might take to help ensure name recollection:

• Hear and understand the name
• Create a mind picture linking the name with the person
• Add details about the person to the mind picture
• Repeat the name in conversation

Remember the 3 ducks?

FIGJAM

This is an acronym standing for Flipping heck, I’m good. Just ask me. I heard it said it was a nickname given by the Aussie cricket team to one of the England cricketers who they thought was rather big-headed!

This could equally be applied to the vast majority of professional people who feel too proud to market themselves. It shows up in their thinking:

- If I'm great, people will finally discover me

- I'm lowering myself by self-promotion

- Promotion is boasting and I'm not a boaster

- People will think I'm like a used car salesperson

- I don't want to embarrass myself

- I don't want to put myself out there and be rejected

- People already know what I do, so why push it?

How naïve, how 20^th century, how narrow-minded!

In today’s competitive world we all have no choice but to be visible and market ourselves in an appropriate manner.

“What the problem then, patient?”

It is said when the diagnosis is right the doctor is close to helping you get better.

It’s the same when you have those terrible nerves before you walk into a room. What exactly is your fear or concern? When you know that, I as the (networking ) doctor can cure you!

Going through the motions?

I walked into the reception of a client recently and the lady, sort of, half looked up from her book and asked who I wanted to see. I felt I was intruding!

Whilst waiting I thought she doesn’t like what she does, she is a bad image for her company and wasn’t a nice person.

“What are you reading?” I asked. She told me. “Do you read a lot?” I enquired further. By this time she had put her book down and started to chat. In the next 3 to 4 minutes networking with this lady I found out all sorts. When I went into the meeting I got a nice smile and a cheery goodbye.

People love talking about themselves and having the spotlight shine on them. We had got to know each other; she liked me, the basis for the start of any sort of relationship. That’s what networking is all about.

When you wake up tomorrow….

You can decide to be happy or miserable or just go through the motions. Personally I love what I’m doing and get a big kick out of helping others with their self-confidence and business development. If you don’t like what you’re doing consider, in great depth, if you ought to be doing something else. Life isn’t a rehearsal, I don’t think, this is the one chance we have to be happy. Time to grasp it?

If you were in front of a firing squad…

...and you were asked “What is your last wish?” what would yours be. Is there something in your life you wish you’d done and now here is the last chance?

We generally don’t do things because of FEAR. Fear of failure and fear of rejection. I once heard this profound statement. ‘Fear is temporary , regret is permanent.’

Listen for the 3 ducks

Many peoples' crime when networking is not following up.You have a dilemma after you spot a potential business opportunity
The difference between persevering and persisting on the one hand and pestering and being too pushy on the other is the key.For the purpose of this posting we won't divulge how to do one and not the other.What you should know is no-one will buy from you until the 3 ducks are in line. They're called 'Ready','Willing' and 'Able'. It is only then that people will spend their money with you.But it is only when you keep in touch and follow up in a professional manner will you know when is the right time.

Fancy speaking about networking skills for Kintish?

We are offering franchises as we believe there is so much work about, we have created a brand, and we'd like to offer you an opportunity if you want to boast your training and presenting career.
For more details view here

Einstein is here, alive and well...

....well not Albert himself of course, but Einstein Network TV.This is a subcription channel which...Well read what it says on the front page of their website

We combine industry knowledge with television and eLearning expertise to design concise and informative training and development materials.
We work with leading professional institutions to promote excellence in CPD/CPE.
Our unique visual learning solutions use the powerful media of TV, video, CD and online technology helping to make learning more stimulating, effective and rewarding.

I was recently interviewed for approximately 25 minutes about the basics of networking.In about 4 weeks it will be available to all their subsribers with all my contact details. I think it was a fantastic marketing opportunity.

FANCY BEING ON TV?
If you have an expertise you think would be useful to the professional and financial world call me and I will put you in touch with the Joan, the really nice associate producer who is always on the look out for 'experts'.

When you're young and inexperienced...

you will find networking more of a challenge than 'us old-timers'. I was at a Law firm in Scotland today where the managing partner acknowledged this but said of the more experienced people,
"They're not cleverer than you- they've just been round the block a few more times than you."
So true. Just be yourself, ask questions, show interest, and when you don't know...admit it.

Nothing ever changes. People are all the same wherever you go.

I presented at a Business Link networking event recently. There were approximately 70 people there representing small business owners or bankers! Before I started I watched the peoples’ behaviour…it was normal. People who knew no-one found a quiet spot and sat alone. The group from the bank all formed a circle , a bit like the old Wild West where the covered wagons tried to protect themselves from the marauding Indians!

I become very unpopular ( I guess) when I ‘nudged’ the loners to talk to other ‘Billy and Betty no-mates and broke up the big circle.

By the time the presentation was over they had all been sorted and we had a room of enthusiastic networkers.

Nothing ever changes.

DOCENDO DISCIMUS

I heard this phrase recently and as I had never heard it before asked what it meant. It is Latin for the “The more we teach, the more we learn.” So true

IGNORANT PEOPLE ….meet TED.

One fear people have when attending business events is not knowing the answer to a question and showing themselves up. I guess it is a natural thing to think particularly with younger people who are starting out in their careers. Just because the person you’re talking to knows something doesn’t mean to say you should. Enter TED. Generally people are keen to tell explain things when you don’t understand what they are saying or it is of a technical nature when you haven’t learnt about. Try one of these questions.

T ell me more about that.

E xplain how that works

D escribe that to me in more detail.

These are just a sample of the type of phrases you might use. I’m sure you’ll find some more.

Don’t be afraid to ask…otherwise how will you ever expand your knowledge?

S.H.I.N.E. to make a brilliant first impression

We all know the phrase ‘You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.’ Not always true but more often than not. You want, always, to create a great first impression?

S mile

H andshake. Make it firm and friendly…no wet fish ones please

I …a bit of a cheat but this is for good eye contact. I believe the most important letter of the 5

N ame.Give your name slowly and clearly and, more importantly, listen for theirs. If you don’t catch their name ask them to repeat it. They will be pleased you are showing interest.

E nthusiasm. When you show a genuine eagerness and interest in the other person their positive impression of you will be complete.

Try SHINE, it works…promise

THE SECRET OF THE CONFIDENT NETWORKER

Most people are somewhere between a touch anxious and petrified when they attend events, social or business, and have to meet new people. I have discovered the secret to overcome this problem. It is all about focusing on the right person. People tend to be self-conscious, self aware spend too long thinking ‘How do I look, how will I come across, will I be interesting, etc. When you put al your energy, into focusing on others you will find the nerves disappear. Why? Because you will have no time for this self-centred thinking. I have written a full article on this topic. Email will@kintish.co.uk if you’d like it.

Magic...a story telling evening

I arrived in Edinburgh, my favourite UK city, and was invited by my co-presenter Clark Cunningham to join him at a story telling evening. My first reaction was " What?" But I went and what a great evening. People told stories, sang and played music at the Scottish story Telling Centre on the Royal Mile
I lady sang, her name is Phyllis Davison who lives half the time in Edinburgh and half in Ontario, Canada.
She sang us a song and we all had to learn the chorus
And so the stories do unfold
As we grow from young to old
We live a chapter every day
Discovering a various way
I really was looking for an excuse not to go this evening ...but as I tell all delegates
IF YOU DON'T GO, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!

KINTISH BLOGGING RETURNS

KINTISH BLOGGING RETURNS

I changed, no was forced, to the new Blog and through some teccy problem couldn’t seem to sort things out…hence no blog. I miss telling the world about my new-found knowledge but here we go again.