Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Voices in our heads – Part 2

The majority of people have negative conversations simply because we all have two key fears in our lives; fear of rejection and the fear of failure. Fear is a made-up word – it’s really an acronym F.E.A.R. It represents the phrase ‘false expectations appearing real’. These fears do represent false expectations as most people who attend business events are friendly, personable and welcoming. When have you been rejected at a business event? After all every one is there to spot opportunities, build or reinforce relationships. Yes, there will be a tiny proportion of rude people; those who decide you’re not important enough and start looking around the room for ‘more significant people than you.’ Don’t let this small minority get to you. They’re not worth giving a second thought to. You don’t want to be building relationships with these rude ignorant people anyway, so excuse yourself and go and find the ‘nice’ people who deserve your company.

When you walk into a room it’s time to think:

·         “I’m a nice person who is going to be accepted into this room.”
·         “I’m as good as anyone else here.”
·         “I’m a generous person with a giving spirit. The greatest thing I can give tonight is my time and full attention when talking to others. They will like me and respect me for that.”
·         “Yes, I am a little nervous, but so are most other people.”
·         “I’m going to be friendly, courteous and polite; that way people will like me quickly.”
·         “I’m going to smile, give good eye contact, shake hands and aim to remember peoples’ names. This will help me create a good first impression.”
·         “When I pretend to act like a host, my confidence is going to build. For example, I’m going to talk to people who I see standing on their own and introduce them to others when it’s time to move on.”
·         “It’s a business event so everyone is here to meet new contacts – including me.”
·         “I’m going to spend more time being interested by asking questions rather than talking too much about myself.”
·         “I’m going to look positively for potential opportunities and follow them up.”
·         “If at the end of the day all else fails, I’m just going to have to fake it ‘til I make it!”
·         “I’m going to have a good time!”



But why should you fail? Fail at what exactly? It’s not an examination or you are the defendant in a trial being judged. It’s just a group of people, most of whom will be polite, friendly and welcoming. Focus on them and enjoy your networking.

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