Fear of Rejection
Most people won’t make that first move for fear of rejection. Fear is an acronym; it stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. We walk into that room full of negatives. ‘No-one will talk to me’ ‘I am not going to be interesting’ ‘What if I’m judged and found wanting?’ Most people are friendly and polite so leave those words behind when you arrive.
All I say is believe in yourself walk in and tell yourself you are a nice person and remember most other people are nervous. If it is a business event they want to meet you like you want to meet them
Warning
You will meet the rare lesser-spotted R.I.P. This is the rude ignorant pig who will reject you, walk off or just ignore you. Give them short thrift and when you encounter that behaviour…move on.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Don't network, don't succeed! Fears and concerns...continued
Fear of the Unknown
Walking into a room where you have been before and knowing no-one is scary. I hate walking into a room full of strangers so I always avoid it. How? Simply by planning my day carefully and arriving early. I have presented for a decade asking tens of thousands how they feel and I can confidently say 98+% of people have similar fears
Every room you have ever been in and every event you attend in the future is always formatted in exactly the same way. There will never be more than 6 formats. There is the single person standing against the wall. Couples stand in open and closed formats as do trios. Then there is the scary groups of four or more. My advice is avoid the closed-formatted groups unless you know someone in there. Approach singles or open groups with a smile, good eye contact with a phrase like “Please may I join you?” or “Please may I introduce myself?”
On Friday 10th September we will go through the 'fear of the rejection'.
Walking into a room where you have been before and knowing no-one is scary. I hate walking into a room full of strangers so I always avoid it. How? Simply by planning my day carefully and arriving early. I have presented for a decade asking tens of thousands how they feel and I can confidently say 98+% of people have similar fears
Every room you have ever been in and every event you attend in the future is always formatted in exactly the same way. There will never be more than 6 formats. There is the single person standing against the wall. Couples stand in open and closed formats as do trios. Then there is the scary groups of four or more. My advice is avoid the closed-formatted groups unless you know someone in there. Approach singles or open groups with a smile, good eye contact with a phrase like “Please may I join you?” or “Please may I introduce myself?”
On Friday 10th September we will go through the 'fear of the rejection'.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Don't network, don't succeed! Fears and concerns
Apart from the negative press networking has created, we all have 3 basic primeval fears when it comes to walking into a room full of strangers.
1. Fear of failure
2. Fear of the unknown
3. Fear of rejection.
Let me share with you some tips and ideas to help you overcome those fears which should then give you more confidence to attend more events
Fear of failure
You won’t fail when you spend time asking good questions, listening carefully and following up in a professional manner when an opportunity arises. When you focus on the other person and show interest people start to like you quickly. You need to be genuinely interested and when the conversation comes to an end move on in a polite manner. When you hear something you don’t understand ask them to explain in more detail what they mean. People love talking about themselves and showing they know something you don’t. This will endear you to them. You only fail when you don’t turn up, you do too much talking, you are impolite or, in my view worst of all, don’t follow up when you think you could move the relationship to it’s next stage. When you ask permission to contact someone after an event and they say ‘yes’ no-one will ever accuse you of pestering or annoying them.
On Wednesday 8th September we will go through the 'fear of the unknown'.
1. Fear of failure
2. Fear of the unknown
3. Fear of rejection.
Let me share with you some tips and ideas to help you overcome those fears which should then give you more confidence to attend more events
Fear of failure
You won’t fail when you spend time asking good questions, listening carefully and following up in a professional manner when an opportunity arises. When you focus on the other person and show interest people start to like you quickly. You need to be genuinely interested and when the conversation comes to an end move on in a polite manner. When you hear something you don’t understand ask them to explain in more detail what they mean. People love talking about themselves and showing they know something you don’t. This will endear you to them. You only fail when you don’t turn up, you do too much talking, you are impolite or, in my view worst of all, don’t follow up when you think you could move the relationship to it’s next stage. When you ask permission to contact someone after an event and they say ‘yes’ no-one will ever accuse you of pestering or annoying them.
On Wednesday 8th September we will go through the 'fear of the unknown'.
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