Being Kintished

How do you "Break the Ice" and move on?

2010-12-22T08:47:00.001Z

Going to an event, entering that room of dark suited circles of strangers unnerves you. This is a statement. I know because thousands of delegates and audience members tell me so. In fact, I promise you over 98% are somewhere between uncomfortable, down the continuum through to downright petrified. If you feel like this you will find…you are normal. I am abnormal because I love it. Here’s ideas to help you.

Get there early so you won’t be facing large groups.

If hosts are present they will do their job and introduce you to others.

Armed with the fact that most people feel the same, if you see someone standing on their own make the first move. Approach them slowly. Stop fleetingly to ask if you may join them and then introduce yourself. The reason you have not done it before is because of your fear of rejection. Right? Yes, right, but don’t worry you won’t be rejected, in fact, you will be welcomed with open arms and this person will be greatly relieved. You would, if someone approached you. Ask questions like, ‘where have you come from?’, ‘how are you associated with the PSA?’ Think of the event you are at and think of the numerous things you will have in common with this “stranger”.

Try using your first name only; they normally follow suit and give their Christian name. Listen hard then use their name to build rapport. Who knows, this stranger could be your next big client!

When it’s time to move on, suggest they accompany you to the bar, the food table or to someone you need to talk to. You are showing courtesy and respect by offering them an option. No dumping here! But don’t worry: they probably want to move on as much as you so they normally decline your offer and off you both go. If they do come with you the chances are you or your new partner will bump into an existing contact and the whole dynamics start all over again.

If you are stuck with a nervous person who knows no-one, simply say, ‘let’s go and meet some other people,’ and then look for an open twosome or trio and ask to join. You will spice up this new cocktail of people and you have successfully “parked” your friend on others.

Never approach two people standing face to face or a threesome standing in a triangle. Their body language clearly communicates they don’t want interrupting as they are having a private, confidential or even intimate conversation. You will not be welcomed…at least, not at that moment!

Will Kintish a leading UK authority on networking can be contacted on 0161 773 3727 or via www.kintish.co.uk

Voices in our heads – Part 2

2010-11-24T09:35:00.000Z

The majority of people have negative conversations simply because we all have two key fears in our lives; fear of rejection and the fear of failure. Fear is a made-up word – it’s really an acronym F.E.A.R. It represents the phrase ‘false expectations appearing real’. These fears do represent false expectations as most people who attend business events are friendly, personable and welcoming. When have you been rejected at a business event? After all every one is there to spot opportunities, build or reinforce relationships. Yes, there will be a tiny proportion of rude people; those who decide you’re not important enough and start looking around the room for ‘more significant people than you.’ Don’t let this small minority get to you. They’re not worth giving a second thought to. You don’t want to be building relationships with these rude ignorant people anyway, so excuse yourself and go and find the ‘nice’ people who deserve your company.

When you walk into a room it’s time to think:

· “I’m a nice person who is going to be accepted into this room.”

· “I’m as good as anyone else here.”

· “I’m a generous person with a giving spirit. The greatest thing I can give tonight is my time and full attention when talking to others. They will like me and respect me for that.”

· “Yes, I am a little nervous, but so are most other people.”

· “I’m going to be friendly, courteous and polite; that way people will like me quickly.”

· “I’m going to smile, give good eye contact, shake hands and aim to remember peoples’ names. This will help me create a good first impression.”

· “When I pretend to act like a host, my confidence is going to build. For example, I’m going to talk to people who I see standing on their own and introduce them to others when it’s time to move on.”

· “It’s a business event so everyone is here to meet new contacts – including me.”

· “I’m going to spend more time being interested by asking questions rather than talking too much about myself.”

· “I’m going to look positively for potential opportunities and follow them up.”

· “If at the end of the day all else fails, I’m just going to have to fake it ‘til I make it!”

· “I’m going to have a good time!”

But why should you fail? Fail at what exactly? It’s not an examination or you are the defendant in a trial being judged. It’s just a group of people, most of whom will be polite, friendly and welcoming. Focus on them and enjoy your networking.

You're a painkiller

2010-10-25T11:53:00.000+01:00

“I love what I do but don’t like the marketing and selling”

When you are in the advice-giving business, particularly professionals and experts in your field, do you feel exactly like the headline? You spend your formative years in education, academia, gaining professional qualifications and learning on the job. Then after time you realise to progress, or go it alone, you have to start selling, marketing and promotion- the uncomfortable bit of the job.

Change of mindset
You will not be good at this; you will find it unnerving and awkward, dare I suggest. It’s not in your DNA. Had it been, you probably wouldn’t have chosen the career you have.
Stop thinking sell; think help. You are an expert who provides advice which adds value to your client. You are a problem-solver and painkiller. When I ask people what they get paid for I hear, ‘My time or my expertise or the advice I am giving.’ Yes that’s true but in the eyes of the client you are being paid for a problem they can’t solve for themselves. No-one goes to the doctor, the dentist, the accountant or the lawyer unless they have a complication or difficulty. So, I reiterate, you must forget selling if you’re going to become more proactive. Get out there networking and start to look for people who have a pain; you’re there to kill it.

What to do at business events
What you should never do is try to sell your company, it’s services or products; the only thing to promote is yourself and the nice person you are. Networking is simply building relationships; we have all been doing it since around the age of 2.
The three key steps to building new relationships are
1. Get to know more people by attending more events.
2. Start to get them to like you and build rapport and affinity
3. Continue past step 2 and build trust to create long-term meaning sustainable relationships
I believe the reason the word networking attracts such negative views is because many people simply don’t know how to do it effectively and more importantly politely and ethically. This can result in rude and discourteous behaviour including people being too pushy. You occasionally find people who realise you’re not the person useful to them they begin to look around the room or over your shoulder. They appear infrequently and are a small minority but move on quickly from these ignorant people.
Fear of failure
When you are giving your expert advice you are in command and control and with help from colleagues you rarely fail. But attending that business event often knowing no-one and getting involved in conversations taking you out of your comfort zone there will be the possibility of failure crossing your mind.

You won’t fail when you spend time asking good questions, listening carefully and asking the other person to explain or describe more when you don’t understand. You’re looking for those pain-killing opportunities which will only occur by listening. Having spotted a chance or prospect, to avoid wasting your time ensure you follow up in a professional manner. When you focus on the other person and show interest people start to like you quickly. You need to be genuinely interested and when the conversation comes to an end move on in a polite manner.
You only fail when you don’t turn up, you do too much talking, you are impolite or, in my view worst of all, don’t follow up when you think you could move the relationship to it’s next stage. When you ask permission to contact someone after an event and they say ‘yes’, no-one can accuse you of pestering or annoying them.
Remember most people don’t follow up for fear of rejection. Don’t take it personally; they’re not rejecting you just the offer of your help.

The author of this article is Will Kintish, leading UK authority on effective and confident networking both offline and online. If you’d like Will to speak at your conference or training workshops, call him on 0161 773 3727. Visit www.kintish.co.uk and www.linkedintraining.co.uk for further free and valuable information on all aspects of networking.

Voices in our heads – Part 1

2010-10-22T09:44:00.000+01:00

Is it any wonder most people decline or ignore business invitations when they start out with a head full of negative self-talk.

When you walk into a room full of strangers, do you ever start off having ‘solo’ conversations which go something like this?

• “I don’t know enough about xxxx.”
• “How am I going to break the ice,’ because I don’t know anyone, do I?”
• “ I’m so nervous that I’m bound to forget the name of the host, not to mention other peoples’ names when I first meet them”
• “I’ve no right to be in front of all those people; I’m too junior to represent the firm.”
• “Nobody’s going to talk to me.”
• “What if I’m asked something and I don’t know the answer?”
• “I fell terrible! My hair’s a mess and my shoes look ridiculous.”
• “No doubt I’ll do something stupid like tripping up or knocking my glass of wine over fellow guests.”
• “People just aren’t going to take me seriously.”
• “People may laugh at me, not openly and when I feel that, what do I do?”

How do we mange and get these fears destroyed?
In my next blog will share my thoughts.

Network? Sure, I network. I’m on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook all the time.

2010-10-20T16:13:00.002+01:00

I love social media, don’t get me wrong, but the downfall of today’s social media is it can give people a false sense of security that they are effectively networking. Spending time on LinkedIn or Twitter is a smart component to your work life, but in order to reap the full benefits of networking, you need to regularly back away from the computer, pick up the phone, attend business networking events, or meet up with a former colleague for coffee or drinks. In other words, network the old fashioned way, the way we networked before we became addicted to so many of these networking sites.
Networking is building relationships; know-like –trust are the 3 key steps to achieving this. How can you get others to like and trust you simply through the computer. I do believe you can start a relationship online and even reinvigorate and reinforce but no-one will ever convince me you can build a sustainable relationship with anyone.without the face-to-face meeting.

15 Minutes & 10 Seconds To Great Business Opportunities

2010-10-15T12:53:00.002+01:00

1. Walk in and get a drink 30 secs
2. Look for someone 15 secs
3. Approach 10 secs
4. Ask permission 5 secs
5. Introduce 5 secs
6. Opening comment 20 secs
7. Start small talk 180 secs
8. Ask what they do 60 secs
9. Ask interesting questions 300 secs
10. Tell them what you do 180 secs
11. Ask for card 10 secs
12. Read 30 secs
13. Make comments
14. Ask to contact to find out more 20 secs
15. Write in diary 15 secs

Be polite and move on 30 secs

The perfect networker

2010-10-13T15:29:00.002+01:00

You know him, he’s at every event, a brilliant conversationalist, give you the shirt off his back. He follows up, keeps his commitments and he’s always happy to make an introduction.
He drinks water at every event, not because it’s healthy, but to save money. He’ll spend hours on Twitter and other social media doing essentially nothing, but won’t spend £50 for a tool that will actually help his business. There’s always a hint of desperation hidden in his voice (or his blog posts) because his business really isn’t doing that well.
He’s drunk the networking & social media cocktail ‘Gottabeseenandloved’ and if you’re not careful, you might easily fall victim to it too.
Networking is fun. Furthermore, there’s rarely any rejection in networking. People can succeed at networking even if they’re not succeeding in their business. And if you’re any good at it at all, occasionally it will work and actually generate you some business. “See? Networking works!” That becomes a validation of whatever you’ve been doing. It doesn’t matter that if you did things a little differently, you could have had ten times the results with the same amount of effort – what you’re doing “works”.
It’s an addiction. And it’s an insidious one at that if it ends up controlling your life.

Eat Spiders or Make that follow up call?

2010-10-01T09:10:00.000+01:00

If you were asked to make cold calls as part of your job I’d guess you’d rather eat a box of spiders!. I know I would.
But how do you feel if you have to follow up having met someone at a business event. Many people feel the same -’Give me that box’.
The situation is so different as you are following up someone you have met. If you have spotted a potential opportunity to do some potential business ask permission to call to arrange a meeting. When the time comes remember
• They are expecting your call
• They agreed to take your call
• You believe you have a service or product which will add value to their business
• You’re simply continuing the conversation you had a few days previously
• What is the worst that’s going to happen?

Consider this
Where are you now? Sitting in front of the phone

What do you want to do?
Call a prospect to help (not sell) with your service or product
What is the worst thing he can say?
“No thanks ”
What is the worst thing that he can do?
Put the phone down
Then where will you be?
Sitting in front of the phone

So what are you waiting for?

We fear the call simply because of rejection. Always remember this; they are not rejecting you, just the offer of your help.

What it takes to be an effective and successful leader?

2010-09-29T11:33:00.000+01:00

A good leader is someone who achieves results! Winston Churchill, Richard Branson and Mother Theresa all had radically different leadership styles. However, they each achieved results in their own way.

There is no magic or mystique to leadership, great leaders are not born nor are they specially gifted at influencing people. They are simply people who are passionate about being a great leader and they are willing to do the little things that matter. That's what makes a good leader.

Timeless Advice
How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first bestselling management books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1937, it has sold 15 million copies globally. The ‘little things’ he believed made a great leader were

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes first.
4. Ask questions instead of directly giving orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise every improvement.
7. Give them a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

So, the answer the question what makes a good leader?
A good leader is someone who is willing to make the changes to the way they work by attempting different techniques and learning from their experiences. Is this you?

How much Propinquity do you create when networking?

2010-09-24T16:25:00.002+01:00

What a great word, no, not ‘networking’ but a word I have recently been introduced to – propinquity. For those who don’t know the meaning of the word, let me share.
Propinquity means physical or emotional proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in nature between things. Two people living on the same floor of a building, for example, have a higher propinquity than those living on different floors, just as two people with similar political beliefs possess a higher propinquity than those whose beliefs strongly differ.

When we attend business events our key objective should be to build new or on existing relationships. When you find you support the same team, have the same aged children or both love scuba-diving then you have found common ground; you’ve created propinquity. When this situation arises and you find someone who may need your services or products in due course you have to be a preferred supplier when the right moment comes.

We get people to like us when we show genuine interest, ask motivating questions and give our full attention throughout the conversation.
Let the other person do most of the talking; be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves. (From ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie).

I can't be bothered to network today!

2010-09-22T16:49:00.002+01:00

Some say networking is a core business skill. I see it as something we do every day. it is simply building new relationships or on existing ones. It is not just a skill for sales and marketing people but also a skill for everyone in whatever line of business they are in. Since it has become a 'must-do' part of business it has however been adopted by people who confuse it with 'selling'. They hand out their business card as though they are on a mission to beat a record they created at the previous event. A numbers game for many, 'networking' is now a functional task, something we can switch on or off…all so wrong.
Penny Power founder of Ecademy recites the story, “ The other day, at 7.15am in the morning on my train to London I had someone selling me 'CRM Software', he launched straight into his pitch, silently being mocked by onlookers. He excused himself by saying to me 'you're a networker aren't you; you know what it is all about!'
That sad little man with his sad little view of life was actually trying to transact, not network.”
Networking is being friendly, it is being open to people and listening and chatting about random events and thoughts. It is not a transactional opportunity. The skill of networking is to have no agenda at all. The only motive should be to listen and learn from the person you are meeting and listen out for aspects of their life that you identify with or know someone who would. Where you spot an opportunity, think ‘help’ not ‘sell’, keep asking questions and when you feel it may be worth a follow up get-together ask permission to call to arrange.

Don't network, don't succeed! Fears and concerns...continued

2010-09-10T09:05:00.003+01:00

Fear of Rejection

Most people won’t make that first move for fear of rejection. Fear is an acronym; it stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. We walk into that room full of negatives. ‘No-one will talk to me’ ‘I am not going to be interesting’ ‘What if I’m judged and found wanting?’ Most people are friendly and polite so leave those words behind when you arrive.
All I say is believe in yourself walk in and tell yourself you are a nice person and remember most other people are nervous. If it is a business event they want to meet you like you want to meet them

Warning
You will meet the rare lesser-spotted R.I.P. This is the rude ignorant pig who will reject you, walk off or just ignore you. Give them short thrift and when you encounter that behaviour…move on.

Don't network, don't succeed! Fears and concerns...continued

2010-09-08T08:57:00.001+01:00

Fear of the Unknown

Walking into a room where you have been before and knowing no-one is scary. I hate walking into a room full of strangers so I always avoid it. How? Simply by planning my day carefully and arriving early. I have presented for a decade asking tens of thousands how they feel and I can confidently say 98+% of people have similar fears
Every room you have ever been in and every event you attend in the future is always formatted in exactly the same way. There will never be more than 6 formats. There is the single person standing against the wall. Couples stand in open and closed formats as do trios. Then there is the scary groups of four or more. My advice is avoid the closed-formatted groups unless you know someone in there. Approach singles or open groups with a smile, good eye contact with a phrase like “Please may I join you?” or “Please may I introduce myself?”

On Friday 10th September we will go through the 'fear of the rejection'.

Don't network, don't succeed! Fears and concerns

2010-09-01T09:03:00.001+01:00

Apart from the negative press networking has created, we all have 3 basic primeval fears when it comes to walking into a room full of strangers.
1. Fear of failure
2. Fear of the unknown
3. Fear of rejection.

Let me share with you some tips and ideas to help you overcome those fears which should then give you more confidence to attend more events

Fear of failure

You won’t fail when you spend time asking good questions, listening carefully and following up in a professional manner when an opportunity arises. When you focus on the other person and show interest people start to like you quickly. You need to be genuinely interested and when the conversation comes to an end move on in a polite manner. When you hear something you don’t understand ask them to explain in more detail what they mean. People love talking about themselves and showing they know something you don’t. This will endear you to them. You only fail when you don’t turn up, you do too much talking, you are impolite or, in my view worst of all, don’t follow up when you think you could move the relationship to it’s next stage. When you ask permission to contact someone after an event and they say ‘yes’ no-one will ever accuse you of pestering or annoying them.

On Wednesday 8th September we will go through the 'fear of the unknown'.

Don't network? Don't succeed! - Why attend events?

2010-08-27T09:21:00.000+01:00

We go to
• Raise our own and our company’s profile
• Gain useful information
• Understand our market place
• Find people who can supply us
• Meet key people and decision makers
• Get to know what others do.
• Get others to know what we do
• Help others with their business challenges
• Find potential new colleagues

This list is not exhaustive. Consider for a moment when you don’t go all those potential opportunities you will miss. I say regularly, “If you don’t go, you’ll never know”

Don’t network? Don’t succeed! - Building Relationships

2010-08-25T09:03:00.000+01:00

The three key steps to building new relationships are:

1. Get to know more people by attending more events.
2. Start to get them to like you and build rapport and affinity
3. Continue past step 2 and build trust to create long-term meaning sustainable relationships

I believe the reason the word attracts such negative views is because many people simply don’t know how to do it effectively and more importantly ethically. This can result in rude and discourteous behaviour which includes people being too pushy or, if they realise you’re not the person useful to them they begin to look around the room or over your shoulder.

Don’t network? Don’t succeed!

2010-08-20T11:37:00.000+01:00

The word network often strikes fear and dread into people or they immediately have strong negative thoughts about it. Manipulative, scheming, selling are just 3 words associated with this all-important activity. The irony is we all network from the time we start to talk.

My view, it is simply building relationships; either new ones or reinforcing existing ones. “I’m going networking once this week” implies you’re going to spend the rest of week sitting in a darkened room with no access to the outside world. It’s just communicating - be it face-to face, the phone or more and more through the computer. Social networking or social media, the phrases can be interchanged, are becoming the dominant method of communication.

As someone who acknowledges he is a little quaint and old-fashioned I fear for the future of inter-personal communication. There can never be a substitute for attending events, no replacement for the smile, the eye contact and the reading of the body language.

45 Golden Rules - Working the Room - Part 4

2010-08-13T12:45:00.002+01:00

1 Look at the people and visualise growing business

2 Get there early if you are a guest as you will feel more comfortable when there are less people and this gives you a chance for time with your host.

3 Take a deep breath if you feel a little nervous. Remember you are usually there for business purposes; do not waste the time.

4 Try to find out who your fellow guests are before the event. This gives you a great chance to seek out people who you wish to meet and do business with.

5 Carry a pen if you are a serious networker. This is your work tool for the night.

6 Stay as long as possible. You often find other serious business networkers staying on. Those are the people you really want to meet.

7 Approach people and talk to those you do not know. Other people will be as apprehensive as you and will welcome you with open arms if you take the lead.

8 Pick someone who looks approachable – look for the smile and eye contact from them and you do it too.

9 Interrupt politely into a group and ask if they mind you joining. People will never say no as they are there to network to. Do not change the subject until the appropriate moment.

10 Rehearse the answer to “what do you do”? when asked. Make it sound interesting and exciting; highlight what benefits your existing clients receive from your service or products.

11 Say “I help people to become more successful” if you are a banker rather than “I am a banker” when asked. Consider the difference in impact on your listener.

12 Prepare subjects to ask about in case you are stuck for things to say. Ask the other party about their job, holidays, family, their views on sporting events or current affairs.

13 Remember constantly “givers gain”. The more you give the more you will get back in return. Create an “abundance” reputation rather than a “scarcity” reputation.

45 golden rules to working a room...part 3

2010-08-11T13:59:00.000+01:00

11. Say “I help people to become more successful” if you are a banker rather than “I am a banker” when asked. Consider the difference in impact on your listener.

12. Prepare subjects to ask about in case you are stuck for things to say. Ask the other party about their job, holidays, family, their views on sporting events or current affairs.

13. Remember constantly “givers gain”. The more you give the more you will get back in return. Create an “abundance” reputation rather than a “scarcity” reputation.

14. Be first to offer your hand and shake hands firmly. A limp handshake tells you a lot about the person.

15. Contact with the eyes is the most powerful form of body language. Not looking someone in the eye on that first meeting creates the wrong impression from the start.

16. Make the first move. Greet everyone with a smile and a friendly hello. Approach people standing alone. This will be less daunting and they will welcome a friendly face.

17. Talk in terms of other peoples’ interests. Find out as much as possible about them, it is the easiest way, as people love to talk about themselves.

18 . Listen attentively first. People will tell you lots of useful information that can be used to your advantage. This also establishes a rapport. Talk about yourself second

19. Stay within limits if there is a free bar. Drunk and disorderly behaviour can rarely be good for business!

45 golden rules to working a room...part 2!

2010-08-06T13:15:00.000+01:00

29 Obtain other peoples’ cards always. That is the only way you will remember who you met. Record where and when you met those cardholders as soon as possible after the function. Write down something of interest to remind you why you took their card.

30 Grade the cards 1,2, 3 with 1 signifying “this person could be very useful to me” to 3 “I’ll probably not get in touch”

31 Keep all cards you ever receive and file them. You never know when they just may be useful. They will only be useful however if you follow guides 29 and 30.

32 Write down on their card the day you will call so that the other party knows you are serious about the follow up.

33 Read the card carefully and thoroughly when you are handed it. This shows great courtesy and interest. Information on the card should also provide you with further questions to ask the person about their business.

34 Give your card to someone even if you are not asked for it. It will serve as a memory jogger when pockets are emptied.

35 Have personal business cards if you are seeking a new job or career. Don’t use old cards.

36 Wear your badge on your right. As you shake hands, the other person’s eyes will naturally follow down the line of the arms and automatically see your name.

37 Keep moving! You are there for work and to connect with as many contacts and prospects as possible, within reason.

38 Excuse yourself by going for a drink, outside for a breath of fresh air or, introduce someone else to a person when you wish to extricate yourself.

39 Ask to contact the interesting person(s) after the event and suggest a day when it may be convenient to call and make sure you do so on the agreed day.

40 Request a list of participants if it is practical and will not cause embarrassment. This will jog your memory in case there were people there whose cards you did not receive.

41 Thank your host before leaving and then again in a letter or e-mail to show your appreciation. Good basic manners are great for business.

42 Ask for what you want when you meet the person who can help you. If you do not ask you will never know if your request would have been successful.

43 Restrict the time you spend with one person or on one subject. If you are believe you are establishing a rapport arrange to meet again after the initial meeting.

44 Stand sideways on so that you are able to see what is happening around you and you can introduce others to the person to whom you are presently talking.

45 Approach groups of three or more, it is easier to break in and they will welcome new faces and new contacts.

45 golden rules to working a room

2010-08-04T09:14:00.000+01:00

Did you know there are 45 golden rules to working a room? Here are just a few:

20 . Spend some time with people you do know. Ignoring people is impolite and they may be able to introduce you to someone new.

21. Ask to be introduced by someone you know to someone you don’t know.

22. Ask open ended questions to get the other person talking. Ask questions that beginning with Why? How? When? Which? What?

23. Ask others to repeat their name if you did not hear it first time. Everyone likes to be called by his or her name - it shows you are interested.

24. Repeat the name after the introductions and try to picture something associated with their name to help you remember it.

25. Introduce yourself slowly and clearly ensuring that the person has every chance of hearing your name. They will often be embarrassed to ask if they did not hear it the first time and it is vital that they know who you are.

26. Listen to who they are and what they need. Be a resource by offering help. “I know where you can get that” can only be good for your business in the long run.

27. Develop a 30 second introduction that clearly states the benefit for the person you are meeting. Practise this introduction so that you can say it in your sleep.

28. Think how you can introduce relevant people to each other. You will be doing both of them a big favour and it can only be good for you.

"Us poor accountants..."

2010-07-30T09:46:00.001+01:00

I was a practising accountant for over 30 years so speak from experience. When you attend events and you’re asked, “What do you do?” it’s not the best time of the day. Now be honest we all know what peoples’ perceptions are of us when we say, “I’m an accountant”. Grey people in grey suits! But we’re not are we? So how do we overcome this first impression? Rather than telling others who we are we tell them what we do, in fact we tell them what we can do for them.

“I help my clients to grow their business” or “I ensure my clients don’t pay a penny more tax than they should” or “When businesses get into financial difficulties, my role is to give the best advice.”

All of a sudden people see you in a completely different light and treat you as the interesting person you no doubt are.

Networking isn't selling!!

2010-07-28T09:12:00.009+01:00

Networking and selling are like oil and water, they don’t mix. When you go networking it is simply a platform for creating the opportunity to sell.

Networking is about building relationships and the selling of yourself. Be interested, not interesting and whilst you are in the middle of a conversation rabiting on about your products and services, think of the acronym, WAIT – WHY AM I TALKING. All good sales people know that we were given two ears and one mouth, unfortunately not a lot of people realise it was a message from above that we are expected to use them in that proportion. Creating the right impression by being a good listener can lead to that follow-up call after a networking event with the possibility then, only then, of doing some real business.

Take your networking seriously!

2010-07-23T09:19:00.000+01:00

When you treat your attendance at business events as seriously as you would everyday business meetings, I believe you will have lots more fun and gain far more opportunities as a result. Surely you would never meet a client or a professional contact or in fact attend any serious business gathering without some planning and preparation? No. So why just roll up at a gathering, conference or any business encounter and hope for the best?

The smaller the event e.g. a dinner or a Saturday afternoon in your client’s executive box at Old Trafford the more important it is you find out about your fellow guests. Before attending events I suggest you ask yourself a number of questions using the table on the following page.

How are you going to get the best out of these two precious hours? How are you going to ensure that you make the right impression? Have you got a clear, concise and interesting answer to the question ‘what do you do?’ How many business cards are you going to take with you? How many “ahaa” moments should you be aiming for?

Ever wondered how to approach large groups of people?

2010-07-21T16:58:00.000+01:00

Groups of 4+ are the big challenge for most people; whether it’s the approaching, the entering or the leaving. Let me say here and now, until you’ve got your ‘L’ plates off, don’t start approaching groups, particularly when you don’t know anyone. Needless to say, it’s not so bad when there is at least one member of the group whom you know, but, even then, it can be a bit daunting.

The group to approach is the one you feel most comfortable with. Firstly, I’d like to suggest that you aim for groups of three; groups of four or more, even for me, are a big challenge. Sticking with this group of three, decide whether you are more comfortable with males, females or a mix. At the same time, decide whether you feel at ease with small, medium or tall people.

Personally, at 5’ 6”, I would never approach three dark-suited men who are 6’ tall; talk about being out of my comfort zone!

Hard Skills vs Soft Skills

2010-07-16T11:49:00.000+01:00

Hard Skills

In your world of work, “hard skills” are technical procedures related to your core business; examples include the latest law, rules and regulations in your area of expertise, or industry. Ironically enough these ’hard’ skills are typically easy to observe, quantify and measure. They’re also generally easy to train, because most of the time it is actually just knowledge being taught. The facts one learns are generally right or wrong so there can be little scope for misunderstanding.

Soft Skills

By contrast, “soft skills” (also called “people skills”) are typically hard to observe, quantify and measure. You can teach knowledge as we mentioned above, you can’t teach attitudes or mind-sets. As the last phrase suggests, when one has a set idea it is very difficult to change peoples’ minds.

So what is more important?

People skills are needed for everyday life as much as they’re needed for work. They have to do with how people relate to each other, communicating, listening, engaging in dialogue, giving feedback, cooperating as a team member, solving problems, contributing in meetings and resolving conflict. Leaders at all levels rely heavily on people skills, too: setting an example, teambuilding, facilitating meetings, encouraging innovation, solving problems, making decisions, planning, delegating, observing, instructing, coaching, encouraging and motivating.

Reflections

When you look for new people to join your company, what are you focusing on?

I think it’s only when you’ve been at work a few years that you realise the hard skills are easy to learn, and it takes many a fall to learn the soft skills.

“I know it’s a girly thing but….”

2010-07-14T12:16:00.000+01:00

It is not a ‘girly thing’, it’s an everybody thing! What you wear speaks volumes for your attitude towards the people you are about to meet. When you dress inappropriately you are telling your fellow guests ‘you don’t care or you couldn’t be bothered.’ Maybe you don’t and maybe you couldn’t which is fine as long as you are happy to take the consequences (which can be either positive or negative). We don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, meaning people often judge us before we even open our mouth. ‘If people judge me on what I wear they have to be very shallow and not worth building a relationship with.’ ‘I never wear a tie and I’m not going to start doing so now’. Even the in-coming Prime Minister Gordon Brown has refused to dress up in evening attire. Many people will judge those attitudes as a guide to how you lead your business life in general. By dressing in a suitable manner you are telling the other people in the room you respect them, you do care how you are perceived and you do give others an overall impression of what you think and who you are. This may include being individualist, maverick and even eccentric.

When you’re Sir Richard Branson in his jumpers or Sir Bob Geldof with his hairstyle I guess you have ‘made it’ and couldn’t give a damn about what others think. To us mere mortals perhaps we should.

Networking...what a terrible idea, you wouldn't catch me doing it!

2010-07-09T13:39:00.002+01:00

The word network often strikes fear and dread into people or they immediately have strong negative thoughts about it. Manipulative, scheming, selling are just 3 words associated with this all-important activity. The irony is we all network from the time we start to talk. My view, it is simply building relationships; either new ones or reinforcing existing ones. “I’m going networking once this week” implies you’re going to spend the rest of week sitting in a darkened room with no access to the outside world. It’s just communicating - be it face-to face, the phone or more and more through the computer. Social networking or social media, the phrases can be interchanged, are becoming the dominant method of communication. As someone who acknowledges he is a little quaint and old-fashioned I fear for the future of inter-personal communication. There can never be a substitute for attending events, no replacement for the smile, the eye contact and the reading of the body language.

What do you think?

How to deal with Rude People

2010-07-07T10:36:00.001+01:00

Unfortunately there are people like this everywhere. Can I suggest how you deal with them?

1. Don’t ever be rude back. My mother told me, that two wrongs don’t make a right. Great advice I’ve always thought.

2. They are in a minority, so the chances of you meeting too many are slim.

Again, take the moral high ground and think ‘I don’t want to spend much longer with you.’ How does this rude behaviour manifest itself? It’s generally when people start looking over your shoulder and their eyes are wandering. I think we all accept thsat body language is the most powerful form of communication, so they are saying to you in as clear a manner as if they had a neon flashing sign above their head, ‘I want to be off.’ Read the sign and do them and yourself a favour. When a lull comes in the conversation, simply say: “Well, John, it’s been great meeting you, have a good evening. I promised I’d catch up with Mary over there”.

How do think John is going to feel? Yes, that’s right, relieved of course. He told you a few moments ago he’d like to go; you’ve just done him a favour. Please, don’t you ever act like John. When the conversation has come to its natural end, move on in one of the polite ways mentioned elsewhere.

The majority of people are kind, polite and courteous; they’re the ones you want to build relationships with. Stick with them and avoid the rest.

Check out this rude, yet humorous networker, http://tiny.cc/oyfy3...You don’t want to meet this gentleman, do you?

Familiarity Breeds Comfort

2010-04-27T09:17:00.000+01:00

When you see something with which you are familiar, our brain analyses the information it receives through our eyes and recognises it from previous memory. If you aren’t acquainted with the image or sound our senses say; ‘I don’t understand, I’m nervous, I’m out of control’. We have to create a new reference in our memory bank so eventually we feel comfortable and in control. In unfamiliar situations we have to evaluate what is going on around us then make decisions based on a variety of factors such as our beliefs, habits and past experiences.

Attending Business Events

When we attend business events I have found most people walk in with their beliefs in a total negative state.

“No-one will talk to me”

“Where do I start?”

“I’m too young/too inexperienced / too junior to be able to add anything to conversation”

Successful and experienced people also have the same fears, doubts and concerns; the difference is the way they deal with the situation. Believe me I have researched literally thousands of people and, yes, they do feel the same. Some fake it but it is natural to be nervous in any new and unfamiliar situation!!

Below is an extract of an article written by Francesca Steele of the Daily Times, Thursday March 11th

2010-03-22T14:16:00.001Z

Why women are such bad networkers

It’s no good thinking that hard work will get you anywhere. If you want to make it to the top, you’re going to have to overcome your fear of socialising and start schmoozing like men.

The champagne is not working. The canapé is just an embarassing stain waiting to happen. You’re trapped in a corner listening to your junior from accounts complain about his manager. In the centre of the room is the boss and swirling around him are the golden ones, the annointed next generation. Confident, brazen in their ambition and male.

Women are not natural networkers. We might be more capable in the workplace, but we are more likely than our male peers to hide our talents and our selves behind the water cooler at the company do. And this failure to schmooze is holding us back. More than 50 years after the second-wave feminists smashed their way into the workplace, corporate UK is still overwhelmingly male. Just 10 per cent of board members of FTSE 100 companies are women. Some 25 of Britain’s biggest companies have no women at the top at all.

“It’s a complete scandal,” says Professor Lynda Gratton, of the London Business School (LBS). “Only the most exceptional women make it to the board, yet the boards of UK companies are full of men who are not in the least bit exceptional.”

Read the full article here.

10 Pointers to Remember When Networking and Following Up

2010-02-24T15:46:00.001Z

1. Don’t forget your torch!

2. Most people are nervous.

3. Walk in with your head held high knowing you’re as good as anyone else in that room.

4. The vast majority of people will be polite, courteous and respectful.

5. You’re there simply to build new relationships and develop existing ones.

6. It’s more about being interested than interesting; we learn nothing by talking, only by listening.

7. If you do spot a potential opportunity to move the relationship to the next stage, get a business card and ask permission to call.

8. You’re following up to offer help and add value, not sell for just the sake of it. If they say no, they’re rejecting the offer of your help; don’t take it personally!

9. If you don’t follow up and they did want to hear from you, you’re damaging your brand for which you are the ambassador.

10. Always focus on the end result to get a meeting to move the relationship to the next stage.

Building Trust Quickly

2010-01-26T11:45:00.000Z

Networking i.e. building relationships has 3 key steps. Know; like; trust.

To build trust quickly you need to do something which I find doesn’t happen often enough these days. You need to be reliable. Do what you say you’re going to and do it when you say you’re going to do it. After you have met someone at a business event and promise to call them, do so! If you promise to send them something, send it! If you promise to make the introduction to someone else, make the introduction!

You can build and destroy trust simply by being reliable, or not as the case may be.

2010-01-10T06:57:00.001Z

Free webinar Wed. Jan13 -1pm GMT. "Get your LinkedIn profile highly visible and your settings accurate". To enrol email claire@kintish.co.uk

2010-01-05T08:44:00.001Z

If you're in the advice-giving business give your expertise away free to build a relationship. I find "the more you tell the more you sell"

2009-12-13T12:41:00.001Z

It doesn't really matter what you think, what you know or what you believe in. At the end of the day all that really matters is what you do.

Passion and Enthusiasm – Your Best Marketing Asset

2009-12-02T09:01:00.000Z

When you attend business events i.e. go networking, you should only be selling one thing – yourself! Don’t sell your services or your products in the first instance; people always buy people before anything else.

This means you need to believe you’re a nice person and as good as anyone else at the gathering. As long as you spend more time focusing on others, people get to like you quickly and you build positive relationships.

You then need to be enthusiastic about the job you do and the organisation you represent. If you don’t, why would people want to do business with you and your company? I used to be an accountant so I am interested to watch the body language of someone I meet who is an existing practising accountant. I ask them “What do you do?” and I often get a response like ‘Actually I’m a boring accountant’ as they look away or down at their shoes! I think if that’s what they think about themselves why would I want to do business with them?

Dale Carnegie, who wrote the world’s best-seller ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ was credited with the quote ‘Enthusiasm- the little known secret of success’. Enthusiasm is like measles... it’s highly contagious!

2009-11-23T20:18:00.001Z

I have just been introduced to xobni.com Worth looking at if you keep losing things within your computer. I do, so it's good for forgetfuls!

2009-11-15T16:22:00.001Z

if you're a speaker or trainer join Professional Speakers Assoc. Just spent 3 days at Convention and now have 15+ gem ideas for new business

2009-11-12T07:56:00.001Z

Kintish arrested for talking too much! Needs bail of £1000 to avoid prison-all proceeds to St. Ann's Hospice www.justgiving.com/Will-Kintish

2009-11-11T06:48:00.001Z

Job available.... Product Design Engineeer East Manchester – Salary to £30,000

2009-11-08T19:59:00.001Z

RedLaw a dynamic London legal recruitment agency seek a recruitment consultant You may be an existing recruiter or a lawyer seeking a move

The Networking Hooligan

2009-10-30T09:44:00.000Z

This is the rude, disrespectful ignorant networker. He generally attends events and generally upsets lots of people. What does he do to create this unhappy situation? Women generally are much nicer and tend to behave in a more courteous friendly way. Here are 10 disgusting behaviours:

1. He doesn’t understand the rules of space, stands too close and for those with claustrophobia is a living hell. You take a step back and he follows you.

2. He comes over to you whilst you’re chatting with John. He knows John but not you. “Hi John, good to see you” and totally ignores you.

3. I’m a group of three or four he turns his back on you during a conversation.

4. When he had enough of you he simply walks off without a ‘by your leave’.

5. He constantly hijacks the conversation. “Oh I’ve been there. I know someone better than him. I can beat that, it only took me … etc etc.

6. He is downright rude, sneers at something said or is uncomplimentary about other people and their business.

7. He breaks into closed groups where it’s obvious they’re having a private and confidential conversation. Another note read the various rooms’ body language; approach only the open formatted groups unless you know someone in there.

8. He drinks too much too soon and behaves like the original lager lout.

9. He tells inappropriate jokes or anecdotes.

10. And the worst behaviour of the hooligan is left until last. He’s the one who look over your shoulder or around the room as he’s talking to you. His body language is saying “I’m bored with you Will, I want out of here”. Fine, you don’t want to build a relationship with this hooligan do you? Move on. Simply say “Well, it’s good to meet you chief hooligan, will you excuse me I need to see my friend May over there”. He’ll think “thank goodness for that!”

We think that the below video from comedy duo Mitchell and Webb highlights this perfectly!

2009-10-25T21:18:00.001Z

Why was Bill Clinton so popular and Gordon Brown isn't? Could it be to do with their communication through their body language?

2009-10-19T08:04:00.001+01:00

Meeting new people is akin to seeing an iceberg.We see their gender, skin colour, shape and appearance then we judge. Take more time to decide!

2009-10-05T17:44:00.001+01:00

RedLaw a dynamic London legal recruitment agency seek a recruitment consultant You may be an existing recruiter or a lawyer seeking a move

2009-09-29T15:42:00.001+01:00

's son Michael's album LOOKING THROUGH YOU by the Yeah Yous OUT TODAY. Amazon or itunes or HMV. Please help him to no. 1 in the charts!!

2009-09-27T09:10:00.001+01:00

I have just found a super piece of free legal file-sharing software called 'dropbox'. It syncs your files online and across your computers.

2009-09-24T08:04:00.001+01:00

Greater Manchester SMEs – get your share of £600k at www.creative-credits.org.uk

Baby Chicks in the Nest!

2009-09-16T15:03:00.000+01:00

Baby Chicks in the nest!

Are you busy? I hear lots of people say,” What do you think, we’re in recession? No, fees and sales are well down and the phone’s not ringing like it used to.”

I hear this so much and depending who I’m talking to I sometimes suggest they ought to be busier than ever…marketing. You should either be earning the fee or making the sale or taking action to find more work and create more sales. By way of a summary Ask yourself.

1. Who your target market is?

2. What you are offering and how your clients and customers will benefit as a result of doing business with you?

3. What is your marketing message? This is what you say to your target market about your defined service to get them interested and wanting to know more. The message must be crystal-clear and promise a clear and valuable outcome.

4. Do you have effective marketing materials? This can be a good website which can include audio or video. Are you involved with social marketing to ensure you raise your profile to a global market place? Do you keep in touch with your existing clients to ensure they remember you’re still in business and what new offerings you may have.

5 Are you attending the appropriate business events to get your message across and build new or on existing relationships?

When you do none of the above your business behaves like the baby chicks in the nest!

If ever there was a time to be very busy and more proactive than ever, now is that time

Change Your Thinking

2009-08-27T14:51:00.000+01:00

There are lots of people who consider selling and marketing as essentially dishonest and manipulative. If that’s how you think, the chances are you will resist change with all your might. This resistance is expressed in sentiments such as:

I feel uncomfortable talking about myself and blowing my own trumpet
I sound phoney when I write about the benefits I offer
I'm just not the marketing type
I can't sell myself

It's no wonder many professionals and technicians not only struggle with marketing, but feel uncomfortable and inauthentic when communicating with prospects about their services. Marketing becomes a "necessary evil."

The best way to get past these quite understandable feelings is to look at marketing your services from a new perspective. The negative feelings are bound to make you feel dreadful about marketing. Thinking in a completely different way should make you feel good. Let’s explore.

OLD THINKING

Marketing is manipulation intended to get people to buy things they don't really need.

Marketing is uncomfortable because it talks about me and what I can fo and how I'm better than other service providers.

Marketing is dishonest because it depends on hyperbole and making false promises while charging high fees.

Marketing is egotistical and self-centred, focused on me, me, me.

Marketing is highly competitive, so you need to make sure other professionals don't know what you're doing.

Marketing needs endless amounts of creativity and cleverness in order to get attention and response.

......................................................................................................................

NEW THINKING

Marketing is about making people aware of a service that could make a real difference in their lives and businesses.

Marketing is a valuable service in itself because the primary activity of effective marketing is to give away valuable information.

Marketing is honourable because it offers to solve problems or assist with challenges that are costing the client time and money.

Marketing is helping with needs and wants, focused on them, them, them.

Marketing simply requires an understanding of clients’ problems, challenges and aspirations and your ability to respond accordingly.

Marketing offers great opportunities for co-operation and creating joint ventures with other professionals.

So which thinking suits you? Only you can decide.

Hosting Business Events

2009-08-19T14:05:00.000+01:00

May I suggest that the rules of hosting a business event should mirror the way you host an evening at home? For a social event -

· You invite your guests
· All hosts are present
· Everyone is welcomed warmly
· You are dutiful to all your guests’ needs
· You never leave them alone
· You make all necessary introductions
· You ply them with food and drink
· You work hard at giving everyone a pleasant and enjoyable time

Yet when it comes to hosting business events how many times do you see guests standing alone and the hosts gathered together in a different part of the room?

The investment in corporate events not just in terms of money but also time spent should ensure the rules of engagement for both types of event are precisely the same.

See more information on hosting successful events, plus an abundance of free and useful networking information at www.kintish.co.uk.

Some valuable networking advice...

2009-08-06T15:37:00.001+01:00

...found when walking in Flamborough Head, North Yorskshire last week!

Remember those 5 important things when networking;

S mile

H andshake

I eye contact

N ame

E nthusiastic

For more useful networking tips, visit www. kintish.co.uk

2009-08-02T18:28:00.001+01:00

Did you hear what Sir Alex said about Sir Bobby? He used to CALL ME before all the big matches to say good luck. We all need to call more.

2009-07-29T11:06:00.001+01:00

Help! I have just got a sexy Nokia E75 and don't know how to synchronise to my PC. can anyone advise me please? Must be my age!

2009-07-20T20:18:00.001+01:00

Band 'The yeah Yous' and Kintish junior's second song is about to be released. Preview it first here
http://ping.fm/B99P4

2009-07-12T07:44:00.001+01:00

The world is full of people saying "I'll do that" then don't. To build trust quickly in any relationship always fulfill your promise please!

Voices in our heads

2009-07-07T09:50:00.000+01:00

When you walk into a room full of strangers, do you ever start off having ‘solo’ conversations which go something like this?

• “I don’t know enough about xxxx.”
• “How am I going to break the ice,’ because I don’t know anyone, do I?”
• “ I’m so nervous that I’m bound to forget the name of the host, not to mention other peoples’ names when I first meet them”
• "I’ve no right to be in front of all those people; I’m too junior to represent the firm.”
• “Nobody’s going to talk to me.”
• “What if I’m asked something and I don’t know the answer?”
• “• “No doubt I’ll do something stupid like tripping up or knocking my glass of wine over fellow guests.”
• “People just aren’t going to take me seriously.”
• “People may laugh at me, not openly and when I feel that, what do I do?”

The majority of people have this conversation simply because we all have two key fears in our lives; fear of rejection and the fear of failure. Fear is a made-up word – it’s really an acronym F.E.A.R. It represents the phrase ‘false expectations appearing real’. These fears do represent false expectations as most people who attend business events are friendly, personable and welcoming. When have you been rejected at a business event? After all every one is there to spot opportunities, build or reinforce relationships. Yes, there will be a tiny proportion of rude people; those who decide you’re not important enough and start looking around the room for ‘more significant people than you.’ Don’t let this small minority get to you. They’re not worth giving a second thought to. You don’t want to be building relationships with these rude ignorant people anyway, so excuse yourself and go and find the ‘nice’ people who deserve your company.

When you walk into the room it’s time for a rethink.

Change the script

• “Yes I am a little nervous, but I guess so are most other people.”
• “I’m going to be friendly, courteous and polite; that way people will like me quickly.”
• “I’m going to smile, give good eye contact, shake hands and aim to remember people’s names. This will help me create a good first impression.”
• “If I pretend to act like a host, my confidence is going to build. For example, I’m going to talk to people who I see standing on their own and introduce them to others when it’s time to move on.”
• “It’s a business event so I suppose everyone is here to meet new contacts.”
• “I’m going to spend more time being interested by asking questions rather than talking too much about myself.”
• “I’m going to positively look for potential opportunities and follow them up.”
• “If at the end of the day all else fails, I’m just going to have to fake it ‘til I make it!”

But why should you fail? Fail at what exactly? It’s not an examination or you are the defendant in a trial being judged. It’s just a group of people, most of whom will be polite, friendly and welcoming. Focus on them and enjoy your networking.

For more free and useful networking tips and help on 'working the room', visit www.kintish.co.uk

2009-07-05T09:17:00.001+01:00

"I'll be successful when I get there." "When I get there I know I'll be content and happy." Do you know where 'there' is?

2009-06-29T21:36:00.001+01:00

When you call or visit rather than tweet, email or text you will ALWAYS create more opportunities.Looking them in the eye can only be good.

2009-06-26T14:10:00.001+01:00

My friend Bill is looking for area managers in Blackpool & Cheshire. £30k +bonus +car. Interested? email Bill Sutton root@suttonet.co.uk

2009-06-21T20:35:00.001+01:00

Song "15 minutes " by The yeah Yous in shops tomorrow. Kintish junior composer and keyboard player.Listen/ watch on youtube then buy please!

“I know it’s a girly thing but….”

2009-06-19T09:09:00.000+01:00

As part of our seminars, we run an exercise asking delegates what they should be considering before attending business events. After all, no professional or business person would ever dream of attending a client or prospect meeting without doing some preparation and planning. One of the items which is always mentioned is ‘Decide what you’re going to wear’. When the answer comes from a woman it is invariable preceded by, ‘I know it’s a girly thing but……’

It is not a ‘girly thing’, it’s an everybody thing! What you wear speaks volumes for your attitude towards the people you are about to meet. When you dress inappropriately you are telling your fellow guests ‘you don’t care or you couldn’t be bothered.’ Maybe you don’t and maybe you couldn’t which is fine as long as you are happy to take the consequences (which can be either positive or negative). We don’t get a second chance to make a first impression meaning people often judge us before we even open our mouth. ‘If people judge me on what I wear they have to be very shallow and not worth building a relationship with.’ ‘I never wear a tie and I’m not going to start doing so now’. Even the in-coming Prime Minister Gordon Brown has refused to dress up in evening attire. Many people will judge those attitudes as a guide to how you lead your business life in general. By dressing in a suitable manner you are telling the other people in the room you respect them, you do care how you are perceived and you do give others an overall impression of what you think and who you are. This may include being individualist, maverick and even eccentric.

When you’re Sir Richard Branson in his jumpers, Sir Bob Geldof with his hairstyle or Gordon Brown I guess you have ‘made it’ and couldn’t give a damn about what others think. To us mere mortals perhaps we should.

For more free networking tips and advice, please visit www.kintish.co.uk

2009-06-16T09:32:00.001+01:00

Song "15 Minutes" by the Yeah Yous now released. Me-proud father of boy in glasses. Please tell all your friends to download 79p!

2009-06-14T07:16:00.001+01:00

Song "15 Minutes" by the Yeah Yous released tomorrow. Me-proud father of boy in glasses- Mike Kintish.Please tell all your friends...today!

Kintish asks "Are you a networking criminal?!"

2009-06-09T10:42:00.000+01:00

2009-06-03T13:42:00.001+01:00

Start picking up the phone more and reduce your texting, messaging and emailing. Your business relations & opportunities can only increase!

Marketing – forward to basics

2009-05-22T11:11:00.000+01:00

1. Do you know specifically whom you are offering your service to? You should be able to describe exactly who is likely to benefit from your offering.

2. Do you have a defined service which will produce a consistent and desirable outcome for your clients?

3. When people ask what you do can you describe it in a clear concise manner? People generally don’t care what you do; only what you can do for them.

Find out more about how to promote your business successfully with some more of my free networking tips

if you don't follow up, this will happen to you!

2009-05-16T22:07:00.000+01:00

The right and wrong approaches to networking

2009-05-13T13:46:00.000+01:00

Too many people go to business events thinking only ‘What’s in it for me?’ or ‘How can I get these people to buy my services or products?’ Or ‘I must sell something here otherwise it will be a total waste of time’.

Networking is not about;

W.I.I.F.M. - “What’s in it for me?” but much more about
W.I.I.F.Y - “What’s in it for you?” look back at this second acronym and you read wi-fi the modern day way of communication. Apt?!

The most effective marketing for people in the advice-giving business revolves about giving first and receiving second.

The thoughts below are specifically designed to help you get more response to all your marketing efforts and to attract prospects who are qualified to take advantage of your service.

Thought 1. Give away valuable information.

Thought 2. Share valuable resources.

Thought 3. Give free bonuses with your services and products

Thought 4. Give leads and introductions to clients and associates

Thought 5. Send written and emailed thank-you notes.

Thought 6. Give away complimentary sessions by phone and web seminars

See more networking tips and ideas

Getting to Grips with PING

2009-05-06T10:39:00.001+01:00

If you are entering the social media world for promoting your business, a simple way of getting your message out there is to edit 'status updates' frequently - daily, hourly, whichever. But isn't it a pain updating all of them? Ping.fm is a fantastic tool to just type what's on your mind once, it will then post this out to all the social networks you are part of. Go to http://ping.fm to find out more about taking the shortcuts around social media!

Internal Networking – Do you know what’s going on around you?

2009-04-23T10:42:00.000+01:00

It’s all well and good knowing what YOU can provide and the services YOU offer in your business, but could you be losing potential business for other departments in your company, by simply not knowing enough about them? This short video gives you an example of what ‘internal’ networking is, so that you can all help each other to gain more business for the company overall.
I have written an article about this topic. If you would like to receive a copy, drop me an email willk@kintish.co.uk.

Kintish blog - LinkedIn tip

2009-03-25T10:54:00.000Z

The latest LinkedIn update - for more information, advice and training seminars visit our new website www.linkedintraining.co.uk

"Are you busy?" 'No' "No! You should be ashamed of yourself!

2009-03-08T09:31:00.000Z

Things are tougher, we have less income than we have had over the last 4 years.
But wow are we busy. New ideas, new products new ways of marketing and business development.
All hands to the pump. ALL the team are now doing business development, writng letters, attending events making follow up calls.
Be visible get out there, follow up keep in touch.
THIS IS A RANT.
When people sit there waiting for the introductions, referrals and exisiting clients to call they should expect to receive everything they get...which may well not be much!

LINKEDIN
This is our big project for this spring. Look out for our exciting new seminars

Working The Room Web Seminar 30 March 09

2009-03-05T11:01:00.001Z

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:

Working The Room Web Seminar 30 March 09

View more presentations from Will Kintish. (tags: web seminar)

If you bear a grudge..."Isn't it about time..."

2009-02-16T14:33:00.000Z

Read on. This story is told from a fabulous newsletter
Peter Thomson
Editor and Lightened Publisher
tgiMondays
Two monks and how one of them asked the other one a question.

It’s a question...

You and I need to ask ourselves on a regular basis –
otherwise we’ll be damaging our chances of success.

Here’s what happened:

One day two Eastern Monks set off on a journey to visit the inhabitants
of a local village. On the way they came to a wide stream. The stream whilst
not too deep nevertheless had a treacherous undercurrent.

At the side...

Of the stream sat a young woman with her head bowed and in obvious distress.

Now the ‘order’ to which the monks belonged forbade any contact with
women and so the younger of the two monks – turned his back on the
young women and ignored her.

The elder monk...

Turned to the young woman and asked her what her problem was.

She replied – she had to cross the river with the medicine she’d been
to collect for her mother.

The elder monk helped the young woman to her feet and hefted her onto his shoulders; then waded out into the stream and safely crossed to the other side.

He helped the young woman down and with grateful and continuous thanks she scurried on her way.

The younger monk...

Had crossed the stream behind his companion and they continued their journey. The younger monk, by the look on his face, was obviously in a sullen and angry mood and finally after nearly an hour had passed – like a champagne cork bursting from the bottle – he exploded the questions:

“How on earth could you do it? How could you talk to that woman when you know it’s forbidden? How could you touch her her, let alone carry her on your back across the river? How could you?”

The elder monk replied simply:

“My son her need was great and – I put her down an hour ago – isn’t it about time you did too?”

Ooooooooooohhhhh...

A little voice inside is demanding to know – if there are ‘somethings’ I should have put down long ago – rather than carrying them with me.

What could those...

Somethings be:

Past mistakes

Past relationships

Past hurts

Past – well I’m sure you know what’s appropriate for you – don’t you?

And so...

I think I’ll be thinking of this for a while just to make certain – I’ve definitely lightened my mental load. It has to be so much easier to travel this way – doesn’t it?

So the question is: “What do you need to put down?”

Will you ask it too?

Go on then...

"I'd rather die than cold call"

2009-02-15T08:06:00.000Z

As you look at the phone

If you must cold call read this book first
Cold calling for Chickens by Bob Etherington

The highlight page for me says

WHERE AM I NOW?
Sitting in front of the phone
WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?
call a prospect to start a relationship and eventually get him to buy something
WHAT IS THE WORST THING HE CAN SAY?
"No"
WHAT IS THE WORST THING HE CAN DO?
Put the phone down
THEN WHERE WILL I BE?
Sitting in front of the phone

SO WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!

The key to successful selling

2009-02-03T08:10:00.000Z

Every knows that virtually every successful sale is done when the buyer likes the seller. 'People buy from people' is the cliche but we all knows it's true. so the skill of getting people to like us is the key to making more sales than your competition. Here is my list of actions you should considering taking to get people to like you.
1 Have a happy disposition; smile, be friendly, indulge in chit chat and banter, bring in humour as much as possible. We can't all be funny but we can all avoid being miserable!
2 Become reliable. Don't let people down - do what you say you're going to do and do it when you say you will do it. Don't be late and keep people waiting. 3 Be 'nice' to people. Compliment them, don't complain don't critisise and don't condemn, no-one wins
$ Have a giving spirit and a generous nature.

My hotel story
I recently went on a sort of sales appointment but mainly just to start to build a relationship at a hotel and the general manager was in the hotel lobby when I arrived. "That worked out well, you being here as I arrived". I said to my prospect. "No" he said, "I was here waiting to greet you, you're a guest in my corporate home". Wow, there I was to peddle my wares and guess what? That man made me feel like a VIP. Within the hour we built a strong relationship, I gave him a great deal and he reciprocated.

That anecdote summarises all that is good in people and how we can get people to like us very quickly. This man runs a big hotel, will no doubt be very busy and yet there he was ready 5 minutes early to greet me with a warm welcome. What a start to a relationship!

Do something different..don't get bored!

2009-01-21T21:07:00.000Z

Following the same routine day after day can get boring and make it seem as if you are experiencing a 'slump' at work. Find something to focus on, recall happy moments and you will feel moe exilerated. Apply these positive feelings to the work you are trying to do. Here are some additional tips on how to keep the boredom out of your work experience:

Open up to risk, change and opportunity
Create a personal vision
Set measurable goals for your vision
Work towards your vision everyday
Keep track of your daily achievements
Be enthusiastic about your goals

If you aren't giving you're all in these 'new times' when 'they' are looking to reduce a head count......

Never forget ... people are always impressed or depressed by you.

2009-01-13T16:07:00.000Z

As wave after wave of scandal emerges from corporate life it's clear that many business leaders have shelved their ethics and integrity for the sake of profit. "It's truly a problem of ethic proportions," says D.J. Eagle Bear Vanas, author of "The Tiny Warrior: A Path To Personal Discovery and Achievement."

I agree. Our businesses, our governments, and even our very lives are in jeopardy because of the ethical problems of a few, so-called, despicable leaders.

Oh, I understand the source of these ethical problems. I understand the pressures on today's leaders ... pressures for higher profit margins, faster production times, and bigger market shares ... pressures that push ethics to the sidelines. As we saw with Enron and World Com, and now with the housing crisis and the financial markets, the leader's ethics and integrity took second seat to the demand for staggering performance reports and a free lunch.

I understand these pressures, but they DO NOT excuse anyone from unethical behaviour. To lead a family, a church, a small business, or a large corporation, nothing trumps integrity. It is the very bedrock of effective leadership, enthusiastic follower-ship, and win-win prosperity.

So what can you do to make sure you live a life and work a job filled with ethics and integrity? I've found these things work.

1. Remember your ethics are always on display.

Whether you're in a leadership position or a support position, you will be seen. Make no mistake about it. People are watching you.

If, for example, you're a manager, do you think there's anything your people don't know about you right this minute? As author Jim Rohn asks, "If you haven't been totally above board and honest with them, do you really think you've gotten away with it? Not too likely."

2. Remember your ethics ... or lack of them ... always affect others.
Too many people think a few lies here or a dishonest action there are simply the rules of business these days. They fail to realize that even the smallest breech of ethics can have dire consequences.

For example, when we watched the space shuttle Challenger explode into a fireball in 1986, the U.S. public learned it was a "technical failure" in the infamous O-ring. More than a technical failure, that tragedy was a failure of integrity.

Under incredible pressure to launch, the O-ring manufacturer, Morton Thiokol, did not want to be the one to recommend a mission abort. They knew the O-rings may not work. But instead of risking the heat of criticism, they concurred with the launch decision, and tragedy followed. The O-rings were a "little thing" that led to catastrophic failure.

Yes, your ethics always affect others. So ask yourself, "What could happen if I do this?" Play the scenario out in your mind. Otherwise, you can do something in a moment of thoughtlessness that causes major negative consequences. Ask yourself, "Is this decision and action strengthening or weakening my integrity?"

3. Establish clear ethical guidelines BEFORE you have to.

In one of my programs with leaders and managers, I ask the participants to identify their organization's values ... values they expect their ideal employees to follow. Working in small groups, they quickly list about two dozen key words or phrases that describe their values.

And then I ask them to go back and identify the values that they would fire someone for not having. It always slows down the discussion. But inevitably, these groups settle on two or three things like "honesty," "commitment," and "integrity."

The strange thing is ... it's only then that they begin to realize that they've never had detailed discussions about ethics with their employees. They haven't provided any guidelines to deal with the many common ethical dilemmas that come up in their line of work.

It's then that I let them know that the best time to make a decision about ethical behaviour is BEFORE they have to ... before there is a question or temptation. It's the best way of making sure they won't go astray.

4. Walk your ethical talk ... even if it requires sacrifice.

Remember, if you're a leader of some sort, people are always watching you. And one of the key reasons employees fail to conform to an organization's stated values is because their leaders fail to "walk their talk."

I'll never forget one pharmaceutical company I worked with. The CEO simply announced one day there would be a mentoring programme on site, and he arbitrarily and immediately assigned a mentor to each of several high-potential leaders. The CEO then ordered them to get to work and meet once a week. That was that.

Later, when the CEO supposed his programme was well under way, he surveyed the high-potential leaders to see how well the mentoring programme was working. He was very upset to discover that most of the mentor-mentee pairs had not met in six months.

As the CEO was about to reprimand the pairs who were not moving forward, he suddenly realised that he himself had not yet met with his own mentee. He was not walking his talk ... because it required some sacrifice ... namely his time.

Being a person of integrity requires discipline. Discipline is doing the right thing ... even when you don't feel like it. And with discipline, you're willing to surrender some short-term ease to keep your long-term integrity.

Finally, if you do make an ethical error ...

5. Admit your mistakes.

Being ethical doesn't mean you won't make a mistake. It does mean, however, that you're the first one to admit your mistake. You learn from it, fix it, and apologize for it ... if appropriate.

Do not play the blame game. Do not try to cover up or lie about your mistake. And do not tell others, "do as I say and not as I do." Those are pathetic ploys that will do nothing but further damage your integrity.

Just admit it. As CEO Larry Bossidy of the Honeywell Corporation said, "Ego containment is crucial. The bigger the ego, the less willing you are to admit mistakes."

But you've got to do it. As Bossidy concluded, "Humility is an important feature in being successful."

Action:

Where are you tempted to "cut corners" or "tell little white lies?" Be on the lookout for the ethical temptations in your personal and professional life. And if you're aware of them, you have a better chance of avoiding them.

"Reprinted with permission from Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Internet newsletter, the 'Tuesday Tip.' For your own personal, free subscription to the 'Tuesday Tip' ... along with several other complimentary gifts, go to www.drzimmermann.com

TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO!

2009-01-06T07:43:00.000Z

If your sales and fees are reducing what are you doing about it? If nothing and you expect things to improve in the short term, dare I suggest you deluding yourself. Just sitting there watching the graph go south can't be doing you any good, can it? Wring your hands and pray might work but I'd like to suggest you look at your marketing selling and promotion strategies and try, yes just try, something different. After all what is the worst that can happen?
Perhaps attending some or more business events would be worth a try?

LinkedIn…your best online networking friend

2009-01-04T19:07:00.000Z

Admission time
I have been thinking for the last 3-4 years, ‘Social networking is for the kids’. When it comes to business I have been constantly sceptical about web 2.0 in spite of being signed up to Facebook, Ecademy, Plaxo, You Tube and My Space. Being heavily involved in offline real live networking I felt it my duty to join but with no real conviction.
So why have I become a raving fan of this particular online system? Simply because Reid Hoffman the founder, in 2003, has come up with a process as near as makes no difference to real live networking.
I have been studying the software for 5 weeks now and believe I know as much about it as most and the more I know the more brilliant I find it.
Why not link in to me....here. This is my home page

I've been to China and back...what an experience

2008-12-30T11:16:00.000Z

A different planet, well worth the 11 hour plane ride!
I am all fired up ready for a challenging year.I like challenges , I'm sure we'll come through.
As the year comes to an end we all look forward to next week, next month,next year.

BUT WHAT ABOUT NOW?

I get a newsletter from Dr Alan Zimmerman
and this article caught my eye.

Use it now.

I'm amazed at all the people who work hard to get some nice things ... things that would make their life more pleasant ... and then don't use those things. There's no better time to use those nice things than when times are tough ... because they'll lift your spirits.

Ann Wells wrote about that in the "Los Angeles Times." She wrote, "My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. 'This' he said, 'is not a slip. This is lingerie.' He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite: silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.

Her brother-in-law continued, "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.

"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

What about you? Are you using the special things in your life now? After that experience, Ann Wells is. She wrote, "I'm not 'saving' anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event -- such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. 'Someday' and 'one of these days' are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now."

I learned this lesson from my Grandpa John. On several occasions when we went to visit, he would pull out a special bottle of wine to share with us. Grandma Em would chide him and say, "John, we were saving that bottle for a special occasion." But Grandpa would remind her, "Em, what could be more special than spending time with our family?"

Who knows what's coming?
Enjoy 'the now'
Live in day-tight compartments and wear thos nice new clothes you may have just received for the holiday season

HOW TO DRIVE AWAY WEB TRAFFIC

2008-12-15T18:56:00.000Z

My friend Alan Stevens, the Media Coach sent me this.
Take heed

Here are a few rules that you can implement if you want to keep those annoying visitors away from your website. After, all, they only send you pestering emails trying to buy things from you. It's a real nuisance. Even if you only follow one of these rules, you will be able to reduce the amount of inconvenient requests from potential customers by a huge amount. Ready?

Insist on customer registration before they can see all the pages
Keep popping up screens asking them if they want your newsletter, or would like to fill in a survey
Have text scrolling across the screen, like a neon sign
Give detailed information about the history of your organisation
Hide links under innocent-looking pictures
Use lots of flash, so that poorly-sighted people with screen readers can't make sense of the page
Include the phrase "Optimised for Internet Explorer"
Tell users that they have to download software to see the page properly
Use cheap clip art and standard images
Tell the visitor what their problem is
There, that should do it.

The third step in building relationships - TRUST

2008-12-14T08:48:00.000Z

The start of any relationship is meeting someone and getting to know them.
The second step is to create some mutual liking. When we don't like someone we don't want to spend time with them. Whatever they do or say we will find fault and the relationship will end.You will see something negative in every aspect of their life. On the other hand when we do like people we forgive them everything.Think of the friends you have and their faults. When you like them you forgive them everything.You are tolerant of their weaknesses and even though they may let you down on occasions you forgive them. Why? Because you like them and sometimes you question why you like them. It's rapport, chemistry...who knows?

Trust
But for there to any meaningful long-term relationship there has to be trust. Check out the definitions on the web; there are lots of them. Emotions, relationships, confidence are included with lots of psychology thrown in for good measure.

But I see it all starts with reliability.

When you always do what you say you're going to do and do it when you say you're going to do it, for me, that goes well down the line of a great meaningful and long-lasting relationship.

How reliable or you? How true to your word are you? Can people trust those words which come out of your mouth? can you trust those words which come out of your mouth?!

You are and do what you think Chapter 3

2008-12-07T09:43:00.000Z

When you walk into that room to network, i.e. build new or on existing relationships please think the following

• “Yes I am a little nervous, but I guess so are most other people.”
• “I’m going to be friendly, courteous and polite; that way people will like me quickly.”
• “I’m going to smile, give good eye contact, shake hands and aim to remember people’s names. This will help me create a good first impression.”
• “If I pretend to act like a host, my confidence is going to build. For example, I’m going to talk to people who I see standing on their own and introduce them to others when it’s time to move on.”
• “It’s a business event so I suppose everyone is here to meet new contacts.”
• “I’m going to spend more time being interested by asking questions rather than talking too much about myself.”
• “I’m going to positively look for potential opportunities and follow them up.”
• “If at the end of the day all else fails, I’m just going to have to fake it ‘til I make it!”

But why should you fail? Fail at what exactly? It’s not an examination or you are the defendant in a trial being judged. It’s just a group of people, most of whom will be polite, friendly and welcoming. Focus on them and enjoy your networking.

You are and do what you think Chapter 2

2008-12-07T09:41:00.001Z

Voices in our heads

When you walk into a room full of strangers, at the networking event, do you ever start off having ‘solo’ conversations which go something like this?

• “I don’t know enough about xxxx.”
• “How am I going to break the ice,’ because I don’t know anyone, do I?”
• “ I’m so nervous that I’m bound to forget the name of the host, not to mention other peoples’ names when I first meet them”
• “I’ve no right to be in front of all those people; I’m too junior to represent the firm.”
• “Nobody’s going to talk to me.”
• “What if I’m asked something and I don’t know the answer?”
• “I fell terrible! My hair’s a mess and my shoes look ridiculous.”
• “No doubt I’ll do something stupid like tripping up or knocking my glass of wine over fellow guests.”
• “People just aren’t going to take me seriously.”
• “People may laugh at me, not openly and when I feel that, what do I do?”

The majority of people have this conversation simply because we all have two key fears in our lives; fear of rejection and the fear of failure. Fear is a made-up word – it’s really an acronym F.E.A.R. It represents the phrase ‘false expectations appearing real’. These fears do represent false expectations as most people who attend business events are friendly, personable and welcoming. When have you been rejected at a business event? After all every one is there to spot opportunities, build or reinforce relationships. Yes, there will be a tiny proportion of rude people; those who decide you’re not important enough and start looking around the room for ‘more significant people than you.’ Don’t let this small minority get to you. They’re not worth giving a second thought to. You don’t want to be building relationships with these rude ignorant people anyway, so excuse yourself and go and find the ‘nice’ people who deserve your company.

When you walk into the room it’s time for a rethink.

You are and do what you think. Chapter 1

2008-12-07T09:34:00.000Z

Worth 2 minutes of your time if you don't like business networking or following up opportunities

Important words from the King of modern networking

2008-12-02T07:52:00.000Z

It’s Called Networking for a Reason

By: Ivan Misner

It's not "net-SIT" or "net-EAT"-it's "network." Successful networking is about learning how to "work" the networking process-not just letting it happen.

In many ways, success at networking is the perfect example of the uncommon application of common knowledge. Most people understand that networking is important to their success-they just lack a step-by-step process to get the results they want. Almost no one really incorporates a comprehensive methodology that will build a business through networking. Thus, the need to network is "common knowledge," and the development of the methodology required to be successful at it is the "uncommon application."

The word networking has become so overused that some business professionals can no longer define it. Many people think that networking is attending social or business after-hour events, shaking a few hands, collecting a few cards, and, of course, giving away a few cards of their own. Sadly, they actually believe that's all there is to networking. To be fair, we could say they're engaging in social networking. That's never to be confused, however, with business networking.

I've found that businesspeople tend to fall into one of two groups when it comes to their views of networking. For many, the current mind-set is that networking is a passive business strategy, not a proactive marketing tool. This attitude results in a scattered, often ineffective networking approach that consequently wastes the business owner's time and money. Not surprisingly, when people feel they've been wasting their time and money on something, they're understandably not going to continue that activity.

On the other hand, some entrepreneurs do consider networking a proactive marketing tool for their business. How can you tell? They make it a significant part of their marketing and business plans. They have networking goals. They may even have a budget line item for networking. Most important, they practice it and live it every day.

If you share the first mind-set-the passive one-you're hoping that just showing up at meetings is enough. And therein lies the problem. You need to integrate networking into the way you do business on a weekly basis. This approach truly brings networking into your business as a proactive marketing tool. For examples of straightforward ways to do this, pick up a book that I co-authored with Michelle R. Donovan entitled The 29% Solution. In it, you will find 52 weekly strategies to quickly incorporate networking into your life.

Building these strategies into your life helps you maintain your focus on networking while you work to identify new revenue streams for your business. Before you know it, you'll be driven by the intention to get new business, and you'll have the networking tools to satisfy that drive, because-let's face it-if you have no new business, soon you will have no business at all.

About the Author:

Called the "Father of Modern Networking" by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the Founder and Chairman of BNI (www.bni.com), the world's largest business networking organization. His latest book, The 29% Solution can be viewed at The 29% Solution. Dr. Misner is also the Senior Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company (www.referralinstitute.com). He can be reached at misner@bni.com.

Business cards are, well sort of, important!

2008-11-30T18:34:00.000Z

In our training we say the most important aspect of business cards is not you spraying yours to all and sundry but, when you spot an opportunity,to ask for the other persons.That card should be the gateway to the follow up
I was talking with my friend Mark Greenwood of Simply Networking who had been viewing some of his members' cards after an event.
Although he agreed about my views on cards I had to agree with him when he said it says alot about a person's business when
1 They come from a free source and look and feel like paper
2 They only have a mobile phone number
3 There is no postal address
4 There does not appear to be a website

The only tangible you leave after saying goodbye is that small piece of card. What do you want people to think of you as they empty their pockets, wallets and handbags?

Business networking skills

2008-11-14T18:21:00.000Z

An insightful extract of a newsletter by Jim Wigg. Check him out here. He's one of the good guys!

Happy Ears

Clear blue skies, glorious sunshine, burnt orange leaves, golden brown ferns and not a breath of wind – what an amazing weekend we picked to be in the Lake District with my mum (although Sandra, my wife, will tell you in that smug way "it's always sunny when I'm in the lakes!").

Now, you may remember the last time I mentioned a trip to the mountains (Sphere Issue 2) we met a very nice lady who we called VNL (who sold me a very nice rucksack VNR). Unfortunately, on this trip we met another kind of VNL - but with a very different word for the N. You’ll work it out in a minute!

On arrival at our cosy little B&B in Coniston we were greeted by the landlady. She was saying all the right landlady-ish words, eg "have you had a nice walk?", "if there is anything you need..." etc but something was wrong, they weren't coming out with any warmth - in fact, they were positively arctic.

To illustrate this, let's play a game with the next thing VNL said to us. Please stand in front of a mirror, put a big beaming smile on your face and say aloud "let me show you how the keypad on the front door works". Congratulations, what a good host you make! Now, purse your lips tightly together and repeat again "let me show you how the keypad on the front door works". Notice the difference? Same words, very different result and no prizes for guessing which one we received from VNL!

So, "what does this have to do with Happy Ears?" I can hear you saying. Happy Ears is a term often used to describe what people listen with (especially salespeople) if they are overly optimistic about what clients say to them. This can have two forms:

1. Listening for what they want to hear (the right words) rather than
the underlying message
2. Interpreting what is said as meaning something more

It's the first one that VNL highlights so beautifully. Clearly this was an extreme example but if you'd listened to what she was saying with happy ears (which would have been easy as we were having such a nice weekend) you'd probably be thinking how helpful and friendly she was. Needless to say this wasn't the experience my poor old mum got when she had a problem with the shower in the morning!

Developing the ability to observe and spot signals, as well as listen, is a key skill in business. It can give you early warnings signs of what's to come or an opportunity to uncover a 'golden nugget' - a key piece of information - if you spot the signal and ask an appropriate question.

VNL was an in-your-face reminder of the 55/38/7 research that found face-to-face communication is made up of 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and only 7% words. It also reminds us where to look for signals - body language and tone.

Here's a simple exercise. Pretend you are a client who has just been given an idea by a supplier. They now ask you the question "what do you think?" Practice giving the same response "yes it looks good" a number of times with different body language and tone. Show things like enthusiasm, hesitancy, reservations etc but keep the same words. Each time you give the response think what you’d expect the supplier to say back to and you'll get a new perspective on what to ask next time you spot a signal in a business meeting.

Happy spotting (not happy ears)!

Think business networking, think business sales and development

2008-11-12T16:33:00.000Z

'I work in an office, I don't need to network' 'I'm only an internal person,I don't need to network' 'I work on reception,I don't network.'
The truth is we have all been networking since we started talking. It's simply building new or building on exisiting relationships.
Using the three sentences above when people in different departments start to get to know and like each other, trust eventually is formed.They start to share ideas, information and speak candidly to each other.Their quality of work processes improve, they create more opportunties for the company where they work.
People live in silos because they are comfortable resulting in so much wasted knowledge. when you network internally your visibility raises and in the longer run you become more successful..
In a bigger organisation it is rarely about marketing and selling...other than of yourself of course

"I feel as if I'm on Big Brother."

2008-11-03T21:27:00.000Z

That was a comment made on one of our networking skills seminars when a delegate was asked how he felt when he went networking. I was a little suprised as he was a fellow speaker and I thought a very self-confident person.
My only response was to suggest he behaves like the nice man he is and to act purely naturally.
We shouldn't see the attendance at business events as 'being on stage' but just at work but not in our normal environement. I hoped this helps you, the reader and also my delegate who felt he was being watched on csmera, being judged and maybe found wanting!

"EVERYTHING CHANGES"

2008-10-27T14:10:00.000Z

THINGS CHANGE
From a story by Peter Thomson

My nostrils dilated as I inhaled the aroma of freshly cooked bacon. Two of my sons were in the kitchen and just in the process of wiping their mouths as they’d obviously just finished a bacon-sandwich-breakfast.

Smiling, I said...

“You didn’t ask me if I wanted one!”

This was when...

One of them uttered the ‘there’s something to learn here’ reply – here it is:

“Dad, I asked you yesterday and you said – No!”

Later...

On the journey to London to the conference I was telling Sharon, my wife, about the kitchen conversation when she made the insightful comment:

“I wonder - how many people do the same thing with their customers?”

She does, just occasionally, come up with bright ideas!!!

Seriously...

I thought “She was right; she’s right; she is right!”

I wonder how many times I’ve made that error – the error of asking a customer if they wanted to buy something from me - and hearing their “No, thanks Peter” have mistakenly taken the words to mean: “No – never, ever, ever – thanks Peter”

It’s true isn’t it...

Times change, businesses change, markets change, people change, situations change, problems change, opportunities change – everything changes!

And just because...

We’ve asked a customer if they’d like to buy something from us and they said “No, thanks” doesn’t mean they’ll NEVER buy it. It might just have been the timing wasn’t right for them at that moment.

And so...

I’m off to ask my clients and customers (and prospects) to see if by now they’d like to buy now. After all it wouldn’t be fair to them (or me) NOT to ask again – would it?

WHAT DO WE LEARN?
We learn that unless the client has fallen out with you on a personal basis follow up,and keep in touch. Don't pester, don't be pushy, just every so often pop into their lives again to see if you can help. Don't take the 'no' personally they are just refusing the offer of your help.keep asking permission for that pop up and they can never accuse you of pestering them

We run networking skills seminars which leads you step-by-step through a very comfortable follow up process

Why barristers don’t shake hands!

2008-10-16T07:57:00.000+01:00

You learn something every day.
As part of our training and presentations we suggest that a good handshake when meeting people is a very important part of creating a good first impression.
At a recent workshop a delegate said, “We don’t shake hands with other barristers.” My eye brows raised to query this comment.
It seems in olden days it came from the custom of showing that there were no weapons in one's hand so mutual trust and respect could be established before negotiations.
So the barristers say, ‘We don’t need any of that; as a fellow professional we automatically trust each other, hence we don’t need to shake hands.’
Good history!

Setting up in business?

2008-10-05T18:52:00.000+01:00

When you decide to set up in business make 3 vital lists
1. List everyone you have ever known who you think would want to help you if asked. These are people who like and trust you
2. List exactly what areas of expertise you have and what benefits people will get from that advice.
3. List the companies and, if possible, positions of people in those companies you wish to meet. The more specific you can be the more your friends and family can help you.

Take lists 2 and 3 to list 1 and say, “I have just started in business and this is what I do. Please can you help me? Do you know anyone at these companies or this particular person at this company”?
If they say yes ask, “If you were me how would you approach….?”
If they like and trust you they will be happy to help. Any, my goodness, at this stage you need every bit of help you can at this point!

Networking and business cards and time wasters

2008-09-08T21:27:00.000+01:00

Imagine two people attending an event, sizing it up and drawing an imaginary line down the middle. They separate, each taking half the room. At the end of the event, they meet again to see who's collected the most business cards.

Have you met these people? Sure you have. We all have. What did they accomplish? They collected a lot of cards that will end up on a shelf, in a drawer, in the trash, or--worse yet--scanned into a computer so they can spam everyone they just met. Why? What does a business card represent? It's a piece of paper, with ink and images on it. No relationship has been formed. This networking strategy, by itself, isn't an effective use of time, money or energy.
How can anyone build relationships like this?

Make an effective presentation

2008-08-22T14:56:00.000+01:00

To make an effective presentation you need the '"E's" as Dale Carnegie announced all that time ago.
Enthusiastic
If you're not enthusiastic about presenting why should your audience be interested in what you have to say?
Eager
Are you eager to get your message across and educate or entertain? If not your audience will turn off immediately
Earned the right
When you have had enough experience or the story belongs to you, then you've earned the right to stand up and use your audience's time.
It's only when the 3 E's are present will you make an effective presentation.
At my breakfast club this morning John ( not his real name) stood up amled to the front and said
" I don't know why I'm doing this. I really don't want to and I haven't really prepared and i'm not feeling too good and ...and.... and."
WOW, what a start to him trying to promote his business. if you didn't know this man you would never have bought his services.
Ironically enough after he got going he told some great stories but that start...oh dear, oh dear oh dear!

When people like you...

2008-08-19T21:55:00.000+01:00

...they'll do anything they can to help you.They even overlook your faults most of the time and find most things about you attractive.
When the opposite is true whatever someone does or says we can so easily find fault in someone we don't like.
Work hard at being a 'nice' person; it makes life so much easier!

Not working the room; a fresh perspective

2008-08-11T20:51:00.000+01:00

I read this by Dennie from her blog Similar Circles...takes the pressure off sometimes

I found myself at a music festival this weekend. Literally. On Friday night, I stood on the edge of the grass behind the sea of lawn chairs and felt myself arrive – piece by piece. The sky had miraculously cleared and there were at least 4 constellations (of which I knew the names). The sun had blazed over Lake Huron an hour before and now here we all were, many hundreds of people, all sitting / standing /swaying and all strangers.

It was a relief to not be “on” - to be anonymous – to be part of a crowd with no agenda but to be there.

Which completely freed me to do what I love best.

Meet people.

What? you might think, Isn't that the opposite of the anonymity and the purpose of getting away from it all?

I think that's the biggest mistake we make when we talk about “Networking”. It is not a task to be undertaken or a challenge to be overcome. It doesn't have to involve your game face or your most polished presentation.

Here we all were at a large gathering for a common purpose. No one asked me what I do for a living. No one was seeking anything. Heck, folks didn't even ask my name unless the conversation was going really well.

We all wandered about this lovely park (could've easily been a big hotel ballroom) and nodded to each other, made comments about a book tucked under an arm, the source of a sandwich, a compliment... a commentary on the musicians... found an old acquaintance. Some conversations evolved. Some will stretch on and off through the event. Some were simply polite.

It is ok to say 'hi' to folks. It is ok that some conversations go nowhere. It is ok to just be in the room and not 'work it'. Often the room works itself :-)